The Orphanage of Cast-Off Mascots (OCOM) is an orphanage with a difference. For one, the 'orphans' are of varying age, sizes and shapes. For another, they have curious names like Mr. Coffee Nerves, Cudahy Sam, Super Dan, Plywood Pete and Undead Lard-Can Man .

Welcome to the concept of virtual adoption.

The Internet has hundreds of sites dedicated to this cause, each offering something different from others in the hope of luring users. The orphans at OCOM, for instance, are characters originally used as mascots ('served as advertising emissaries' as the site puts it) for consumer products of the forties and fifties. While most products are defunct, others have made way for more contemporary mascots. What you get, therefore, is a bunch of mascots waiting for a home online.

What would you say if someone offered you a penguin as a pet, albeit a virtual one? Pengies lets you adopt penguins and polar bears with a healthy dose of "love from the Arctic". What's the adoption process like, you ask? Simply right-click on the image and save it. If only adoption centres in real life were as easy to deal with!

When it comes to virtual adoption, the sites fall into two broad categories. In the first are sites like OCOM and Pengies, which merely offer pets to grace your Web site. Sites in the second category, however, offer pets that are more popular and a lot more demanding. They are the ones that won't tolerate Web space alone, but demand a fair share of attention, games and - in some cases -- food as well.

Take a peek at Virtual Zoo, for example. It offers a variety of pets to choose from, and then lets you name your pick, too. A tip: While choosing a name, a considerable amount of creativity and ingenuity is recommended, as most common ones have already been registered. That out of the way, you can do everything from teaching your pet a few tricks, to shopping for some virtual food or playing games with it.

The site also has statistics and progress charts, which are fair indicators of the way you have been treating your pet. Its 'genetic laboratory' will also enable you to change it into any other animal ("…if you think your dog is really a seal at heart").

Neopets is also immensely popular. Like Virtual Zoo, but with a grimmer view of reality. What this means is, if uncared for, your pet could also die a virtual death.

Like their live counterparts, most virtual pets have their own personalities, quirks and traits. J. Lileks, Webmaster of OCOM believes that "people respond better to inanimate objects if they have human characteristics". Consider this for personality: An angry asteroid, a bisexual turtle who claims to love water sports and listens to Nirvana, and a polar bear who loves to roam, to name a few.

Even the sky is not the limit here. Danielle's Cyber Star Adoption Centre has a range of stars you could pick, adopt and name. The Webmaster Danielle Johnson says that, "they are baby stars and need your support," adding that your pet star can bring you luck in different ways. Why would anyone put up stars for adoption? Because, according to Johnson, they "live billions of years so they will be young throughout your lifetime".

In keeping with the current trend of political correctness, a guy called Anthony features pets that may be gay, lesbian or even hermaphrodites. Takes all kinds I suppose…

Lastly, in an attempt to cock a snook at this adopt-a-pet epidemic, brunching throws users a challenge: "You want an adoption experience, see if you can handle Tina the Troubled Teen". An alternative to "virtual kitties and cute little cows", Tina is described as a fourteen-year-old who listens to Switchblade Symphony, cuts geography class, and smokes cloves when no adults are around. Adopt her and the site promises she will have a "new smart-mouthed, negative or tormented thing to say to you every day!"

Don't say we didn't warn you…

ADDITIONAL LINKS
RediffSearch: Virtual Pets

MORE LIKE THIS:
 --Baby Love: The Net can help you adopt
 --Reality Bites: Will you date a software bot tonight?