The result: I was flooded with 20 mails daily, with Hotmail threatening to stop its service if my mailbox wasn't emptied real quick. As for the mail, there were all sorts. The simple guy who wrote, "I was the only one is his age group." The other with an ego who muttered, "I am hoping that I can charm you with words" before continuing his long email with loads of spelling mistakes! Or a third who had put in the name of the wrong girl. Looks like he had been indulging in a cut, copy paste job to woo any female he could find online.
There was 15-year-old Gaurav who replied to my 20 years in typical filmy style, quoting a popular Hindi film song, 'Na Umra Ki Seema Ho…' Well, humour won the day, and we're still in touch.
One of the first to reply was the guy I chose to date -- Rishabh. Maybe because, like first loves, first replies to a singles ad are special. Maybe because he didn't have any spelling mistakes in his email, didn't write like a stalker, and didn't flood my mailbox with replies the moment I wrote to him.
Restraint and persistence won me over. Including other common factors...like the pains and pleasures of getting an engineering degree, a love of pizza or, uncannily enough, the fact that we were both Marwaris.
The first date was at Pune's Pizza Hut. I decided to meet him on the spur of the moment -- we emailed in the morning and decided to meet in the evening. Though, after 15 minutes of waiting outside Pizza Hut on that crowded Friday evening, I wish I had followed the three-day waiting rule. Worried about how I would save face in front of friends, I sipped a soft drink for 25 minutes before he turned up.
He was shy. I tried to run through all non-threatening topics on a first date that I could think about: music, weather, books, family. But he spoke as little as he ate and my nervousness increased as I babbled through most of the pizza. The extra bonus was that I ended up talking even more to this much-married manager of Pizza Hut, whom I had an outsized crush on.
For those with rose-tinted glasses, love at first sight missed us completely. And so did the chemistry. Rishabh gets married next year. To someone else. For now, he's bold enough to suggest a second date before marriage.
Ever had a friend fix you up online? I did. A friend left an email address on my table and sang praises of a man, he thought I should meet. On hindsight, being curious is not bad at times.
After three days of sheer curiosity, I sent the first mail to Mahesh. Funny and bordering on this very calculated 'I-don't-really-care' attitude, I got a reply quickly enough.
If you follow the guidebook of dating where you are supposed to wait for a man to ask you out, forget about finding a date online.
The excitement sizzled for three months through emails and even longer MSN chats, which ranged from everything under the sun.
But our first blind date, when he came down from Bangalore, was an anti-climax. We almost didn't recognise each other because he looked nothing like the photographs he sent me. I think pixels and dots are no substitute for meeting a man in person. There was an awkwardness that even trying to talk about all things that one had discussed in detail online could not dispel.
The friendship stayed intact. In fact, there is something refreshing about talking to a stranger. So, when I did fall in love, Mahesh was the first person I confided in.
Back to blind dates, which also have a way of letting off your wild side. Why on earth would I choose to meet a man in the middle of the night with just a servant playing chaperone? No reason except that Nikhil, whom I met at the Rediff's Singles Club, was intriguing. Short clipped sentences that were enough to make you want to write back. And he was leaving to join an IIM the next day.
Though the minute he walked in, I regretted my impulse and mumbled
something about having a boyfriend. Well, he was all that could put me off at first sight.
Light eyes, a way of continuously looking at your face and just peering
into your eyes. For the first time I felt my instinct had let me down.
But I couldn't have been far from the truth. On the edge for a few
minutes, he made me feel comfortable in my own room… He was the perfect gentleman. Bought some chocolates and didn't overstay his welcome… and the conversation flowed punctuated with a lot of laughs over his subtle, dry humour. Somewhere down the line, I realised we had a lot of common friends.
The mails still come regularly, keeping me informed about what's happening in his life, and the lives of the others.
So, if you need more sizzle in your life, try the Web. Because if you meet a lot of frogs before Mr Right comes along, frogs still make good friends.
Do's and don'ts of being a part of a Singles Club:
1. Begin with a city-based site (most of them have a singles club). It's simpler. Though, if you want more interesting people, a site with national and international appeal is also good.
2. Keep your personals ad fun and simple. Be yourself. Honesty is the best policy. Don't make them flirtatious or you could be asking for trouble.
3. Think of a non-provocative but interesting nickname.
4. If someone does not reply, don't swamp their mailbox. Maybe a reminder or two will help, but don't go overboard.
Do's and don'ts for a blind date:
1. Always try and meet in a public place, somewhere you have been before and feel comfortable.
2. Dress well. First impressions, like first responses, matter.
3. Be on time. Your date might just leave.
4. Never talk about ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends. Nothing can be a bigger dampener.
5. Music, movies, books, hobbies, interests… Definite topics for all awkward silences. And please carry a sense of humour.
6. Even if your date turns out to be the most ugly person on the face of earth, please do not run out on him or her.
7. Always split the cheque. No matter who asked who out, going dutch is good on the first date.
8. And, yeah, enjoy. Don't be shy.
Site Seeing
Rediff.com
Looking for admirers all across the world? Step into this parlour and your mailbox will overflow.
Match.com
When a homepage screams, 'More than 1,00,000 singles have used our service worldwide!', the only thing it could mean is: hey, there are 16,00,000 people you can choose a life partner from.
Hum Tum
A site that connects lonely hearts. A searchable database helps you focus your query. There is also a message board and chat.
Inmatch
Dating, friendship, singles and matrimonial site.
Guide to Love and Sex
A simple, well-designed site to tell you about safe sex, dating tips, and even a test to find out how hot you really are.
Dating Sites Guide
This is where singles find dating sites and dating sites find singles. Search for a match anywhere in the world, according to age, race, religion and other parameters.
Bachelors India
Trendy, unique and user-friendly, this is the place to find soulmates, make friends or strike up correspondence with someone exciting.
Swoon Dating, Mating, and Relating
A magazine dealing solely with the art of dating, mating and relating. Log in for horoscopes, chats, personal ads, features and loads more
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