Ever since I worked on my first computer though -- way back when the word gay epitomised a state of happiness - I found that, irrespective of machines or models, the things that stayed consistent were error messages.

They came in all shapes, sizes and levels of coherence. From the mundane 'Error 404' to the ridiculous 'COM Transaction Integrator Resync TP service depends on the SnaBase service which failed to start because of the following error: The operation completed successfully.'

What, you ask? Precisely.

Anyway, the thing is, for a very long time I blamed myself for these goof-ups, keeping in mind what an old friend once said about my ability to do anything right. Till one day I found that error messages had precious little to do with what you or I did on our machines.

There are enough of Web sites explaining the root causes of most errors. Learn The Net has a comprehensive page taking you through everything from 'Error 400 (Bad Request)' and 'Error 401 (Unauthorised)', to 'Errors 403 (Forbidden)', '503 (Service unavailable)', 'Failed DNS lookup', 'Host unavailable', 'Host unknown', and the ubiquitous 'Unable to locate server'. It lists solutions to each, too.

What do you do if you get a Windows 95 error message that reads: 'Dial-up Networking could not negotiate a compatible set of network protocols....'. The guy handling this page has a few answers, along with other potential solutions and comments. Then, there are sites that tackle mistakes pertaining to dial-up and email, and some offering simple techniques that can be used to avoid the more common ones.

But enough of the serious stuff. Thanks to the fact that these infamous pop-ups have been around for as long as computers have, a number of people now look at them from a different perspective.

Good example number one: Haiku Computer Error Messages.

It asks you to imagine, for a moment, situations where 'instead of cryptic, geeky text strings, your computer produced error message in haiku'. Pithy stanzas like 'A file that big? / It might be very useful. / But now it is gone.' Or 'Chaos reigns within. / Reflect, repent, and reboot. / Order shall return.'

Never mind what you think; they all comprise seventeen syllables!

As if that wasn't enough, some guys have been busy thinking up new messages you can look forward to. Like 'This program has performed an illegal operation and will be sent to prison immediately.' Or, 'Windows 95 was unable to detect your keyboard. Press F1 to retry or F2 to abort.' And who can forget: 'This error message is reserved for future mistakes by our developers'.

More proof that these messages have lives of their own can be found at the Error of the Week Site. A peek at its archives gets you gems from the past like 'Word Cannot Edit The Unknown' and 'Windows Title Not Found'. I told you so.

The Museum Of Faulty Error Messages (MOFFEM) bases the need for its presence on the premise that 'there is no such thing as a bug-free programme'. It also has a valid observation to make: 'Sometimes, the error message itself is the error'. At times like these it exhorts you not to blow your top or yell for customer support, but display a reasonable amount of humour and laugh instead.

Easier said than done. Trust me.

The museum collects and preserves faulty error messages for future generations in a better time 'where programme errors shall be unknown and unheard of'. Check this exhibit titled 'Germlish'. It's what a guy called Philipp Steinau once received on his PC, and reads: 'This message wird beachtet, and ist markiert'.

Don't know about Philipp, I'd blow my top and call customer support.

So boys and girls, like it or not, we're stuck with error messages. Just like my cousins are with me and vice versa.