Abracadabra and Babydoll are the usernames of just two among thousands of people who visit cyber sex chat rooms every day. They could be male, female or transgender, married, in a relationship or single, living in Kolhapur, Kansas or Kavala. But they all have one thing in common: they use the Internet to satisfy an urge or seek release through cyber sex.

With an increasing number of people turning to the Net to find sexual release, the basis of many relationships is being threatened, with partners feeling insecure, angry and disgusted.

Interestingly, most men seem to think there is nothing wrong with cyber sex, which includes visiting pornographic sites and living out fantasies in sex chat rooms. Women, however, don't necessarily view this as cheating but find the activity disgusting and, more so, unnecessary.

Ritika A is an exception. In a long-distance relationship with her fiancé, she says, "I don't think cyber sex is equal to cheating because it's the same as reading a porn magazine or looking at a Playboy centrespread and that's something which is very natural. It just helps your fantasies, but I don't think it constitutes cheating in a serious relationship."

Suman Rathore, a Mumbai-based media professional whose fiancé works in the US, says, "I'd be curious to know why somebody would indulge in cyber sex. For me, as a 'normal' person, I don't see the need to do something like that, especially if you're in a fulfilling relationship." She adds, "Maybe the person is fulfilling a fantasy or some sort of kinky desire, like a teenager flipping through Playboy and getting his release from it."

Similarly, Khulood Noorani, who is married and has a three-year old son, says, "I think most teenage boys who don't have girlfriends visit such Web sites." While she doesn't view cyber sex as cheating, she does feel disgusted by the concept. "As long as it's not an addiction, it's okay," she says.

Her husband, Awais, sheepishly admits to having visited cyber sex sites but is quick to point out that he hasn't gone to a pornographic site in the past five years after his marriage. "The most popular form of cyber sex I know of is where you and the person you're having cyber sex with have Web cams and 'do stuff'," he says.

But is it cheating? "Absolutely not!" he says, vehemently. "If it's not real, if you can't feel it, if the girl on the other side is not in the same room as you, then it's not cheating."

Vidhi C, who views cyber sex as "Two people getting really horny together on the Net," feels that cyber sex does amount to cheating. "You're not generally surfing on the Net, but you're seeking a person out and talking to them about intimate stuff which constitutes cheating according to me," she says. "Especially with a Web cam, it's so much more personal, you know the person on the other side, so that's cheating. And I wouldn't like it at all!"

"Actually, what is really cheating?" asks Amit Mathur, whose girlfriend works in Australia. "If you're in a relationship with someone and go out on a date with someone else, I wouldn't think of it as cheating. But if it's something you're doing on the sly, and if you're taking action on it, then it would be cheating."

Mathur views cybersex as a sort of game where, "you have these fantasies in your mind and you have this wonderful machine sitting in front of you that generates some sort of response and you're interacting with it. If it goes beyond that, where you meet the person you're interacting with on the Net, then that's definitely cheating."

Rathore shares similar views. "For me, anything that happens on the Internet is like playing a game, sort of like a Lara Croft Tomb Raider virtual obstacle race," she says. She does, however, admit that if the person she is involved with uses a sex phone line or enters a chat room where he indulges in sex talk, she would be disgusted and angry.

"I think people who indulge in cyber sex do it more out of curiosity," says Ritika. "I can't see them having long term relationships of the Net."

However, psychiatrist Dr Pervin Dadachanji has a different viewpoint. "I've read studies of how people have become so addicted to cyber sex that they've moved beyond the Net to meeting the people they chat with and having one-night stands with them," she says. "This is an extreme case, but it does happen when the person is obsessed with cyber sex and becomes addicted to it."

Dr Dadachanji feels that the Net can fulfil the need for variety in a stable relationship. "It may start off harmlessly with a little flirting on the Net, where there's no commitment, you're not under stress to perform and you're anonymous," she says. "But if you have a bit of an addictive personality it could escalate and become a real problem."

According to her, there is a lot of guilt among people who indulge in cyber sex but it's more than just this aspect that kills a relationship. "Being on the Net intrudes on time you would spend with your spouse. So it's obviously detrimental to a relationship because once you're addicted, you would spend less time with your partner and more on the Net."