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But so what if I am a tottering 80-year old neighbour, and cranky at that, I still think I should let you have that one in a zillion chance to perform with your favourite band. In order to relaunch their new, improved official website Metallica is giving fans the chance to play bass for the group, for one night in San Francisco. All you have to do is sign up at their mailing list and you will be entered in a draw. You could also log on to Find Sounds to find other sounds, which just might be slightly more musical to my ear.

Another friendly tip for you, as you are also completely Britney crazy, is Esleuth, which tracks the latest news stories, photos, downloads, TV schedules, and more on your favourite celebrities. So, if you win and manage to make a trip to San Francisco, you can meet Britney Spears too! Not the real one, but her lookalike and impersonator, Stacey Allemeier. Apparently, Stacey had photos taken of herself in similar poses as Britney, wearing similar clothing. Read the entire story of her transformation here. So, if Britney has Timberland, maybe you should queue up for Stacey at least!

I hope you don't suffer from the phobia of flying or lifts like I do. Don't let your anxiety get you down. The Indexed Phobias List provides you with a name for any kind of phobia, whether you're Pentheraphobic (afraid of your mother-in-law), Triskadekaphobic (afraid of the number 13), or Dextrophobic (afraid of things on the right side) and more. I just hope you are not Britneyphobic!

But, if you think I am a prude, I am not. My favourite steamy site is Paper Clip Porn. Now all the forbidden wiry action your mother hoped you'd never see is available from the comfort of your browser. Hey, for all those minds working overtime, check the site out before you make up your mind. It might help you figure out where those itty-bitty paper clips came from.

On a serious note, a report I am sure you would like to read is on 'Sex and the Internet'. A father's account of how his son discovered porn through the Net, this report has questions and answers to the cause and effect of easy access to porn without censorship on the Net.

Lastly, a site that tickled my fancy with an innovative way of divining personality -- toe-reading. Readingtoes, claim its founders, was not a discovery made in a boring laboratory, but actually checked in real life. From ridges on your nails to the way they look, your toes could help you discover yourself. In fact, they even have a little section on how to read your own toes but, just in case you want a personalised toe reading session, I suggest you send them an email.

Me, I have just gotten a special picture of my toes shot to have it analysed.

Your neighbour,
Aunty Leena.

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