"It's not wrong or foolish to miss someone who's gone out of one's life, after all, you shared some memorable moments together.
"But as you find a new social circle, friends etc, getting over her and moving on will seem natural."
"Be a good friend when she needs you now, and wear your heart on your sleeve so she is at least aware of your feelings."
In a weekly chat with readers every Thursday, Rediff's Love Guru addresses their relationship problems and offers solutions.
For those who missed the chat on May 14, 2015, here's the transcript!
Parwez Khan: Hi LG I truly love a girl and she said me I also love but I think she lying me because some times she ignoring me avoid me phone calls.so tell me what to do;...
Love Guru: Parwez Khan, did it ever strike you that she may be busy at that time, like you could be busy when she calls?
Anyway, the only way you can sort out your doubts is by asking her about it. Don't tell me you haven't asked her about it yet, considering that it has annoyed you enough to write in here?
srishti-choudhary: I Love my bf a lot..n I think he also does because he has done few things which has made me realised that but at times he ignores me ..doesn't keep contacts for days and then when I argue on this he becomes fine again...
I don't understand how to sort out this issue as he becomes fine fine after we fight but then again .How to handle this?
Love Guru: Srishti-Choudhary, put it down to typical male behaviour, this seeming contradiction in behaviour patterns.
Will he break out of it? Possibly.
But till he does, I am afraid you will have to keep at him to make him, well, normal
Viraj Garad: LG I just broke up with my GF two weeks back, I am finding it difficult to forget her, her thoughts come in my mind every now and then, I just want to move on, how do I get rid of her thoughts, how do I move on , please help.
Love Guru: Viraj Garad, unless you have an arctic heart, two weeks I'd think is too early to get over a relationship. But have no doubt you will, ultimately.
It's not wrong or foolish to miss someone who's gone out of one's life, after all, you shared some memorable moments together. But as you find a new social circle, friends etc, getting over her and moving on will seem natural?
Roshan Parkar: I'm a very shy boy, i'm studying in 12th standard.
I really love a girl and i've been following her for the past two years but never spoke to her, we study in the same class.
I want to talk to her and tell her about my feelings but I cant ,please help.
Love Guru: Roshan Parkar, one's almost forgotten what high school infatuation was like, sigh.
Forget everything else, but is it so difficult in today's time and age for two classmates to talk to each other? I find that odd.
Don't you have common friends, don't you hang out together, don't you all discuss stuff, go out for coffee etc?
Strike a conversation then, and the rest will follow. Hopefully.
Vineet Khare: Is social network sites like Facebook, Tinder really safe?
Majority of people say that it's not safe, but my friend he found his gf on FB and now they are planning to get married, is it really safe?
Love Guru: Vineet Khare, are our cities safe? Is driving safe?
One can sit at home and be safe, or, knowing the dangers outside, take precautions and have a good experience.
The same is the case with social media and dating apps.
There could be frauds lurking there looking for gullible types, and if you are the kind who surrenders your ATM PIN easily to strangers, stay away from them.
Siraj Memon: LG, I am a married man and i've been married for six years, first everything was ok, but now a days my wife gets hyper for no reason, it's happening on a daily basis, what should I do to settle this?
Love Guru: Siraj Memon, you should be able to find out if instead of asking me why she she is behaving thus, you were to ask her.
But obviously, something is annoying her, and it could be anything. From your behaviour to domestic issues.
Ask her, nip the problem in the bud, and I am sure everything will be as good as it was earlier.
Tayyab Ghaffar: Hi LG, im in love with my best friend, she was in a relation with a boy, but she broke up with him few weeks back.
I am very much serious about her and I want to marry her, please help me how do I tell her?
Love Guru: Tayyab Ghaffar, your problem is either she is not in love with you, or you don't know if she is in love with you.
If, as you say, she just broke up with her boyfriend recently, she may not be in a frame of mind for another relationship so soon.
My advice is, be a good friend when she needs you now, and wear your heart on your sleeve so she is at least aware of your feelings. And see how it goes.
Samir SHAH: I am in friendship with a married woman whose husband is in foreign from last 2 years.
Though she is very amicable to me, she has clearly stated me that she doesn't want to cross her limits. But her approach towards me, her way of talking, coming out with me -- frequently, touching me -- all these are non understandable.
Shall I clearly ask her for further intimacy?
Love Guru: Samir Shah, you say that she has clearly stated that she doesn't want to cross her limits, so why are you misreading her actions?
If she has changed her mind, she will let you know.
You are welcome to be adventurous and ask her what you want to, but the downside is you could end up losing her friendship altogether. If you are fine with that, go ahead.
sachin mahajan: Hi, I'm married person but can't trust my wife as she has premarital sex with her boyfriend. Can u suggest me what I need to do?
Love Guru: Sachin Mahajan, she told you that?
Poor woman, she must have confided in you thinking you will appreciate her honesty, but here you are, holding her trust against her.
What if she didn't tell you about it, would it be okay then?
My suggestion, get over it, she is married to you now, don't let the past cloud your present or future.
Harsha Pisse Jagannatha: I work in USA, now I am getting married, the area where I work is very remote and still housing facility is not yet started.
My wife wants to stay with me only after marriage and not ready to stay in her parents home until all the facilities are provided for me as it may take up to 1 year.
I too do not want to quit the job, So how to resolve this issue?
Love Guru: Harsha Pisse Jagannatha, simple solution. What is the problem if she stays with you till your housing facility is done?
From your post, I get the feeling you are not too keen on having her with you -- strange for someone about to be wed.
Why, are there any serious problems with the place you are staying in?
Illustration: Dominic Xavier/Rediff.com
- 'My BF is very narrow minded'
- 'My sister's friend has a crush on me'
- 'My wife is in a relationship with someone'
- 'I am unable to understand her'
- How can I keep my wife happy?
- I'm in love with a senior colleague'
- 'How does one get over a broken heart?'
- 'We broke up but she still wants us to be friends'
- 'A married woman misses me'
- 'What's the secret to a happy marriage?'
- 'My GF's crying habit really disturbs me'
- 'She ignores me and refuses to marry'
Advice from the Love Guru does not reflect the opinions of Rediff.com and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.