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'My sister's friend has a crush on me'

May 01, 2015 15:00 IST
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In a weekly chat with readers every Thursday, Rediff's Love Guru addresses their relationship problems and offers solutions.

For those who missed the chat on April 30, 2015, here's the transcript!

Arthur Butler: I am a boy of 25 years and have a girlfriend too but since some days, I have noticed that I love to see cute faced boys and wish to kiss them. I am no more happy in finding pretty girls but stares at cute boys. Am I getting to the homosexual side? Please help me as I never had experienced it before.

Love Guru: Arthur Butler, you need help, and real fast at that. Please see a psychiatrist for your condition without wasting any more time, or else you can land yourself in big, big trouble.

Arvind Irani: Do long distance relationships really work in real? and relationships that are made on these social networks do they really last?

Love Guru: Arvind Irani, hard to say. I mean, there are relationships where the partners are together and they still break up. As do relationships that have a traditional basis. So, I don't think it's the distance or "social" nature that kills them. Ultimately relationships die when both let distance creep in. It could happen under the same roof, not necessarily in a long term relationship.

Sukhvinder Agah: I am a very shy guy, and i love a girl very much, and i think even she likes me, but i dont know how to approach her and start the conversation, please help.

Love Guru: Sukhvinder Singh, assuming you are living in same neighbourhood, or working in the same organisation, or studying in the same college, it should be quite easy, to start a conversation. It is not a crisis point, but something very very normal. A little bit of shyness is fine, but let it not stifle your life.

Kush: I am a widower aged 56. should i try and find love in marriage. I have married children.

Love Guru: Kush, why not? Why do you think you are not entitled to finding love again? Age has nothing to do with it. As for your children, I am sure they will understand if you explain it properly to them. Which child wouldn't want his/her parent to be happy? So please go ahead.

Sam789: Hello LG, i am in need ot big help from you, i am married for 4 years with a daughter of 2.5 years, my wife always suspect me, she continuosly calls asking where i am... what i am doing... also there are every day quarrel between us. i dont want to go home because of this, it is all because of her mother, i have proof of there conversation, whattodo?

Love Guru: sam789, yes, it is a terrible feeling to be suspected all through. Did she always suspect you or is this a new habit? The point is, a lot of wives feel insecure, often because the husband doesn't behave in a manner that makes them feel secure in the relationship. Are you such a husband? Maybe if you try to address her doubts in a better manner, she may stop suspecting you. Try it and let me know...


Love Guru: Neeru, married for 28 years, did you say? Surprising your wife did not straighten you out in this time, shame on you for staring at girls. Put one of your close female relatives in their place, that should cure you of this vile habit. Saying you never indulged in infidelity, are you implying that you are about to? Right thing to do is to rediscover your spouse who has stood by your crazy habits.

Raju Vohra: she is younger to me by 10 years. should i still approach her? if so any tips on how not to make a fool of myself?

Love Guru: Raju Vohra, 10 years younger than you.. does it take her below 18? In which case, my advice is to wait till she reaches the age of consent. About not making a fool of yourself, self-conscious, are we? If yes,don't be. A little shamelessness is par for the course (so long as you don't let it all hang out), so don't worry too much about that.

Mayank Mehta: how good is tinder?

Love Guru: Fiery stuff, I am told...

yasmin: he broke up with me after being in a relationship for 7 years. how do i cope with it?

Love Guru: Yasmin, by showing him that you can do better without him, that's how. My question is, are you capable of doing it? While a breakup after 7 years can be tough on one, you know there's nothing much to grieve eternally over. S**t happens, and the sooner we come to terms with it, the better. So you got dumped. So big deal. So he is not the last male on the planet. So there! That's the way to go.

adil: she isnt very keen on getting married. weve known each other for some years now. do you think she may be stringing me along?

Love Guru: Adil, ah yes, the thought should cross one's mind. But as the party in the trench, what do you think? It is not that difficult to make out when one is being strung along, you know. Do you get the feeling? Or is just a random thought that came to you which, having come, refuses to go away and now you are seeing patterns in everything she does?

hardik: my sister's best friend has a crush on me. should i go ahead given the possibility that it might affect her friendship with my sister if things go south?

Love Guru: Hardik, before you start off why are you thinking of what may go wrong? How about, what may go right? Then will your sister fete you? Frankly, it's not about your sister, but about you. So put aside the focus on anyone else.

romil: LG i am married since 2 years and i have a kid, but i have fallen in love with my collegue, and even she loves me, i am in a midst of a big problem please help.

Love Guru: Romil, thank god you realise you are in a mess, instead of believing, as men usually do, that all is well even when the world is crashing around their ears. It is not what I think you should do, but what you want to do. It's your life, so you are free to break your young marriage for another woman, but remember, if you can do it today, it can happen to you as well tomorrow.

Illustration: Uttam Ghosh/

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Advice from the Love Guru does not reflect the opinions of and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.

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