rediffGURU Kanchan Rai, relationship coach and founder, Let Us Talk Foundation, tells you how to manage your emotions when a workplace relationship turns into something more.
- You can post your questions to rediffGURU Kanchan Rai HERE.
Ever fallen in love with a colleague?
Between coffee breaks, attending boring meetings and chasing shared deadlines, you found someone with whom you could share your life.
How do you express your feelings to this person?
And what do you do if s/he sees you only as a good friend or co-worker?
"Allow yourself to miss him but don't let that feeling convince you that you're incomplete without him around," counsels rediffGURU Kanchan Rai, a relationship coach and founder, Let Us Talk Foundation.
Anonymous: We both joined our jobs together. He was so caring.
I developed feelings for him. But now he is going to join a new job.
I told him I will miss him a lot but he was so casual.
He said: 'Whenever you want to talk, you can call me.'
I feel very bad when I think that he will leave soon.
Please help me handle this situation.
When he responded casually, saying you can call him anytime, it may have felt like he was emotionally distant or didn't feel the same intensity.
That can be hurtful, especially when you were hoping for some deeper acknowledgment of your bond.
But people express emotions differently. His casualness doesn't necessarily mean he didn't value your presence -- it might just be his way of avoiding emotional vulnerability or not knowing how to respond to closeness.
Now, the focus shifts to you -- your healing, your emotions and your ability to hold on to what was meaningful while also protecting your own peace.
Start by accepting that it's okay to feel sad, even tearful.
Allow yourself to miss him but don't let that feeling convince you that you're incomplete without him around.
You're not losing everything. You're transitioning from closeness to distance, which may or may not evolve into a deeper connection, depending on both of you.
Use this phase as a mirror. Reflect on what you truly want: Was this just emotional comfort in a shared space or did you genuinely want a future with him?
If it's the latter and he didn't show similar feelings, it's okay to grieve about that quietly while slowly detaching.
Let this moment teach you not about loss but about how deeply you can feel and how resilient you are in giving space to someone while still holding space for yourself.
Nurture your friendships, invest in small routines that uplift you and remind yourself that care and affection will come again -- sometimes from unexpected people and places.
If you feel you need closure or more clarity from him, it's okay to have one final honest conversation. Just remember, your peace matters more than anyone's presence.
- You can post your questions to rediffGURU Kanchan Rai HERE.
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