rediffGURU Anu Krishna, mind coach and co-founder of Unfear Changemakers, suggests how to deal with the emotional strain that arises from unresolved conflicts in a relationship.
Family relationships can be fragile.
When parents and elder members in a family fail to bury the hatchet, old relationships fail to heal. At the same time, new ones begin to suffer.
Oftentimes, kids have to watch in silence as love turns into distance between the people they care for the most.
rediffGURU Anu Krishna, mind coach and co-founder of Unfear Changemakers, suggests how to deal with the emotional strain that arises from unresolved conflicts in a relationship.
- You can post your relationship-related questions to rediffGURU Anu Krishna HERE.
Anonymous: My parents are celebrating 18 years of marriage this year. However, still, some strains remain between them.
My father cannot even talk to my maternal grandparents, especially my maternal grandma. I don't know why it is so, but Papa says some old things come in between. I still don't know.
When my mom requests him to talk to them, especially when they are ill, he refuses, saying, 'You never care for me.'
For the past two years, we have shifted to our hometown for study purposes.
Still, if sometimes my grandparents are in trouble and my mom thinks of visiting them, my father says, 'You never have a feeling of responsibility towards me. You should always ask me before taking a decision. Who has permitted you to go to your home?'
My mom is too good. She never quarrels with him; she just keeps silent.
But now she is troubled by these allegations.
Even I tried to convince my Papa about it but he didn't listen.
He said once I grow up, I will understand.
But I am old enough to understand. Can you help us out?
This is about EGO!
It's likely that you father and maternal grandparents have a history of not being able to see eye to eye on something and it does not resolve as either side does not want to let go of that massive ego.
One of them has to relent and become mature about it.
Is that your father who can understand that his wife is caught in the middle of all of this OR your maternal grandparents who know that this is affecting their daughter?
This is something that your mother should talk about to both of them.
If they see how this affecting her, there's a good possibility of things resolving.
Since your mother remains quiet about this, your father and maternal grandparents don't even see the impact it has on her.
You stepping in will be met with: You are young, you won't understand these things. Stay out of this; focus on your studies/work/your life etc.
So, empower your mother to step up for herself
If nothing works, which can happen, you actually focus on your life.
Some things are just meant to be the way they are. There's little that you can do to influence the outcome.
- You can post your relationship-related questions to rediffGURU Anu Krishna HERE.
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