Is She Controlling You Before Marriage?

The big red flag is not asking you for your opinion on anything, warns rediffGURU Anu Krishna.

Is your partner constantly interfering with your personal decisions?

Do you often feel that he/she is manipulating you?

How do you deal with a partner who disregards your views or choices?

rediffGURU Anu Krishna, mind coach and co-founder of Unfear Changemakers, counsels a young man stressed about his future wife who he thinks is controlling his decisions.

• You can post your questions to rediffGURU Anu Krishna HERE.

Rajesh: I am getting ready for my marriage.
I work in Poland as a chartered accountant and I feel a little lonely here.
My marriage is fixed with a girl whom I met online six months ago.
I feel like she is trying to get her way by giving logic and proving that she is right.
At that time, I also felt like she was right. But later, when I think about it, I find that I am being manipulated for all my choices.
Also she wants to know with whom I am talking to on the phone, what I am talking about, etc.
She is asking me to move to India and settle somewhere in a remote rural area where we can get fresh groceries, etc, as groceries in Poland are mostly frozen.
She also wants our future children to be home educated and doesn't want them to be sent to school.
I never thought about these topics before.
I am feeling stressed nowadays and unable to concentrate on my work. I feel like my opinions do not matter and I am always getting convinced of all these things.
I want to speak clearly, but unable to do so. What should I do, whether to proceed further on this marriage?

What would you tell your friend if he came to you with the same question?

Would you ask him to proceed with the marriage or process what is happening?

You obviously know the answer. Meeting someone online and not getting to know them at a personal level to see if your value systems match is what has happened with you.

So, before you decide anything, meet with her and then decide.

The big red flag is not asking you for your opinion on anything -- does that not ring a bell?

• You can post your questions to rediffGURU Anu Krishna HERE.

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