Father's Day: 'Discovered A Type of Love I Never Knew I Had In Me'

'Before my daughter was born, I was focused on my career and my ambitions. Now, everything, every decision, every thought is centred around Aashita.'

Mumbai-based Pankaj Jeswani and his wife Sarika had a special plan for their daughter Aashita's first birthday on June 7.

They took her on her first long train journey -- to Amritsar and worshipped at the Golden Temple.

Pankaj, a digital marketing professional, spoke to Mayur Sanap/Rediff about the joys of fatherhood as he counts down to June 15, Father's Day:

I always love talking about Aashi.

It's amazing how fast time flies. It feels like I was holding her for the first time in the hospital just yesterday; I was completely in awe.

Before she came into my life, I just had a theoretical understanding of what fatherhood might mean. Growing up with my brother, my experiences revolved around sibling dynamics. I thought of a father was a protector and provider, someone who would teach and guide a child through life.

Before becoming a dad, I was deeply worried.

There's an overwhelming amount of advice out there and that can be quite daunting.

Questions kept popping up:

'Would I be a good father?

'Would I know how to care for her?

'Would I end up messing up things somehow?'

But the moment I held Aashita in my arms, a lot of that anxiety melted away.

There was an overwhelming rush of pure love that left me speechless.

She was so tiny, so fragile, so completely dependent on us.

At that moment, I realised that being a father wasn't just a role I was taking on, it was something deeper; instinct took over. It felt like my heart had expanded beyond anything I could have imagined.

I was so wrapped up in my feelings that I lost track of everything happening around me, the celebrations, the congratulations... It was all a blur as I was also worried about my wife and her health.

Traditionally, there have been very clear roles for mothers and fathers, with mothers often being the primary caregivers while fathers focus on providing for the family.

For us, though, it's all about partnership.

If one of us is exhausted, the other steps in. If there's a meeting or appointment, we swap roles easily. It really is a team effort.

Sarika has this amazing bond with Aashi, especially in those early breastfeeding days. She seems to know what Aashi needs sometimes before she even cries.

I am there to help soothe her during the night, change diapers at times and make her laugh during playtime. I view my role as being her playmate, a source of encouragement and a loving presence in her life.

My priorities have shifted entirely.

Before my daughter was born, I was focused on my career and my ambitions. Now, everything, every decision, every thought is centred around Aashita.

Even simple trips to the market feel different. I find myself looking for things she might like or need.

My patience has grown, my empathy has deepened and I've discovered a type of love that I never knew I had in me. There's a constant sense of joy and purpose that fills my life now.

Honestly, the last 370 days have been a far cry from the previous 30 years.

I am more hands-on and outwardly affectionate now.

I want to be present for every giggle, every milestone, every little moment. I'm not afraid to be silly, to get down on the floor and play, or to just cuddle her for no reason.

I want to talk about feelings and emotions more openly than my father did.

He is often quite reserved and his way of showing love was through providing and ensuring we had what we needed.

My childhood was filled with imaginative play, building forts, exploring.

I want Aashita to have that same freedom to explore, to be curious, and to learn through play.

I also want to instil in her a love for reading.

I've already started reading to Aashita -- right now we are at animal, fruits and alphabet books -- even if she just stares at the pictures.

I keep reading my presentations and e-mails to her in a fun tone and she responds with the cutest, brightest smile.

And finally, family meals.

We always ate together as a family and it was a time for connection and sharing. I want to continue that tradition with Aashita.

My bonding time with Aashi is the highlight of my day.

We also have dance parties in the living room or bedroom; I put on some music and just bounce her around; she absolutely loves it.

My wife, my parents and my brother love to dance and listen to music with her.

Her first giggle, her first roll, her first wave, each milestone is a huge celebration. Also, the photoshoots!

Watching her learn and grow, seeing the world through her eyes, watching her discover new things, is incredibly rewarding.

This Father's Day, tell us why your dad is your hero.
What are the sacrifices he has made? How has he shaped you into who you are? What are the life lessons you have learnt from him?
Your words could inspire others, spark memories and remind us all of the power of a father's love.
Because every hero has a story.
Share your hero's story.
Write to us at getahead@rediff.co.in (subjectline: My Father, My Hero). Don't forget to include a picture and tell us where you come from.