'My husband always distrusts me'
In an online chat with Get Ahead readers July 24, Love Guru answered their relationship queries.
Here's the unedited chat transcript:
test: Hi LG, I am roopak 39 yrs & married hv a kid but I like a woman works with me aged 49 and she looks so beautiful and looks as 30 yrs old. I proposed her once when we both went for casual drink but she refused and give some explanation which is irrelevant. After the incident she is talking nicely by pricing me lot in personally as well as officially. Pl advice what can I do now? Thanks roopak.
Love Guru: Test, tricky situation. Perhaps she is being nice towards you so you don't get negatively affected by her turning you down. Whatever be the reason, don't assume things just because a woman is being nice and friendly towards you. If she wants to have a relationship, given that you've indicated your interest despite being married, you will know it for sure. Till then, enjoy her company.
siddharth: He! lgI am have a fine relationship since 2010As I am pursuing mbbs so I still have 2 yrs to goBt my girlfriend has finished her btech this year and her family is pressurising her to get married asap.Were as till I dnt complete mine I cnt approach. Help!
Love Guru: Siddharth, do you want to marry her? Equally important, does she want to marry you? If yes to both, you have no time to lose. You will need to meet her folks at once and tell them of your intention to marry after your MBBS. Who knows, they may agree. If you don't make a move, there's no point in regretting things tomorrow when it's too late
Deepalikumari: [SKB] Hi Love Guru..!! I have one question. I am in a relationship for 4 years. We both love each other very much. My bf is very possessive. And this is the main reason for fight. Some times I starts ignoring him. There is a guy in my office and he purpose me. First i rejected his proposal but now hv started feeling for him. Is this normal? What should i do in this?
Love Guru: Deepikadeewani, you need to decide between the two. You may think having your cake and eating it too is fun,but it is not being fair to both the men in your life -- unless they are in on it too and are okay with it
manisha satpute: What is he difference between infatuation and love?
Love Guru: Manisha Satpute, if it's fleeting it's infatuation. If it's lasting, it's love
Jaideep Singh: Hi, I am Jai, I had broke up with my GF an year ago due to family pressure. But never able to get along with any other girl as i always loved her. Now i gathered some courage & started talking to her again, but i lost the place in her heart.Please suggest what should i do
Love Guru: Jaideep Singh, is she still single? If yes, you may stand a chance of winning her back, but given the way you broke up with her -- due to family pressure -- she can never be sure it won't happen again. It is up to you to then give her the assurance that it was a mistake the first time and it won't happen again
anusha: [SKB] hey guyss...is thr anyone out thr who can help me out..
Love Guru: Anusha, it is not uncommon for students to fall in love with their teachers, although there are questions of ethics involved. You don't mention how old you are, I hope you are above 18. Any which way, you are too young to be thinking of stuff apart from education. Finish your studies first
soniyaiyer: My husband is very suspicious and he always distrust me. I am fedup with this. What to do? Please, advice on this regards.
Love Guru: Soniyaiyer, is your husband suspicious by nature, or is he suspicious only when it comes to you? Some men have the mistaken notion that being possessive, suspicious etc, are signs of love; is your husband one of them? Or is he just suspicious by nature? You must try discussing it with him, hoping to convince him to see things from your perspective. I hope you succeed in it
yatin bharti: Sir i dont prefer chat. I need someone who can be there with me.Chat freinds are lot,but if someone is present in front of you when you need is best.Can you advise
Love Guru: Yatin Bharti, I was talking of singles networks, they are both online and offline. Unfortunately, my JD doesn't include connecting people. You need to find the hangouts in your part of town, and frequent them. Over time you could get lucky
prakash agarwal: hi guruji ....i like a girl we met 3 years ago in a social seminar , from then we r in contact via sms and fb , i have tried to express my feeling to her several time , i always praise her , one day see replied that u always over praising me , but i m an normal girl , i m not comfortable what u say , now what i should do guruji ...?
Love Guru: Prakash Agarwal, is she trying to find out what's on your mind? Or she is she telling you to get off? Hard to say from what you describe. You know, such scenes are best handled in person, rather than through social media. If you are in the same city,have you tried meeting up for a coffee to begin with?
deepa a: Hai LG,I just came to thank for your previous suggestion. My hus is 35 yrs older to me and i asked u whether any problem of me getting preg. Happy to tell u that me carrying now
Love Guru: Deepa A, that's good news. Here's wishing the two of you a wonderful parenthood!
yatin bharti: Hi,I am Yatin from jaipur & i need someone as a good freind. I prefer she freind as girls are more understandableCan you help me out, how i can make a nice girl freind.
Love Guru: Yatin Bharti, I think you are in the wrong chatroom. Why don't you try the singles' networks, you may get lucky there
sandeep chhabra: I WAS IN LIVING RELATIONSHIP WITH ONE GIRL FOR 3 YERAS THEN SHE LEFT ME AND GOT MARRIED .WHAT IS THIS KNOWN AS.
Love Guru: Sandeep Chhabra. Life, I'd call it. What do you call it?
shahnawaz hashmi: I have no gf..but i want gf, i purpose a girl but she rejected me...plz gave me some solution.
Love Guru: Shahnawaz Hashmi, I think you need to get in touch with a singles club, of which there are plenty, both offline and online. You will be able to find a girlfriend there, not in this chatroom I am afraid
Raju Vohra: Dear All, Ive been together with my girlfriend for more than a year and half. I love her so much but marriage isnt an option for this as I believe it should feel right and to be married for the reason that I can legally live doesn't feel quite right. I really hope you have any suggestion in this matter. Thanks
Love Guru: Raju Vohra, you seem to be clear-headed about why you want to get married, to get married for the right reason. Which is just great. Given this, what do you want me to tell you? Each person lives by his/her rules, you have made yours, enjoy!
mir ali: hi lg how ru
Love Guru: Mir Ali, hello how are you? I am fine, thanks
Madhumita Gosh: My partner is writing to other girls on twitter calling them s*xy and telling them that they are georgous and getting responses from the same girls. I found out and am hurt and upset as he did this to me a year ago and promised that he wouldn't do it again. Should I let this go or should I just get rid?
Love Guru:Madhumita Gosh, are you saying that your boyfriend promised you a year ago he won't message strange girls online, but has broken it? If so, seems like a serial offender... Should you break off with him over it-- well, it's your call, really, as the person in the relationship. But judging from the outside, he does seem addicted to such behaviour..
Seema Dutt: I have recently send somebody on a messaging site (FaceBook) that I love them. About 4 days afterwards they give me a handwritten letter in person (we go to the same college) acknowledging the letter, yet saying they are uninterested in me and said that they were okay with being friends.Should I go up to them and say that I'm okay with just being friends ?
Love Guru: Seema Dutt, is this how youngsters today communicate? Interesting. Meanwhile, you can communicate back whichever way you want to -- via FB, through a note or in person. It really doesn't matter how you do it
Shankar Kathurde: What to do when you really like a girl, and they really like you back but they already have a boyfriend?
Love Guru: Shankar Kathurde. There are many connotations to "like", so depends on how you like her and how she likes you back. She may like you back in a simple manner, which doesn't go against her current relationship. My advice: Don't read too much meaning into her liking you; if she wants it to be anything, she will let you know
sabapathy kumar: Hi Love Guru,I am 40 years. I have my wife & daughter. I am more loving my daughter.If I saw young girls I want to help & Support them both financially & emotionally.Can I approached them & help them. Is it a good thing or I should not do this.
Love Guru: Sabapathy Kumar, since you are a father of a young girl yourself, imagine a stranger wants to get involved with her life, support her financially and emotionally. How will you react? What you wish sounds nice, but is not practical. You may continue to feel this way, but for heaven's sake don't try to put it into practice
Photographs: Uttam Ghosh/Rediff.com