In an online chat with Get Ahead readers on September 18 Love Guru answered their relationship queries.
Here's the unedited chat transcript:
Love Guru: Thank you folks, for joining in. Let's catch up next Thursday, at 3 pm IST. Bye!
jivan: I am in love with sexy neighbour, the lady is married. But she invites me for making love. How to handle this?
Love Guru: Jivan, is this a trick question?
P b: got engaged..my would be is not keen in meeting frequently in between ...I want to enjoy these golden days between engagement and marriage.. she is too much occupied with her official and allied duties ..she also has to mangae shopping and all ...we have hardly 2 months for marrigae.. what shd be my approach??
Love Guru: P B, the golden days are after the marriage, not between engagement and marriage. Her behaviour is correct. Yours, on the other hand, is like that of a famine victim on seeing a banquet. Get a hold of yourself and wait
manali-sutar: I have been dating with this guy for almost a year. Within the first two months of our relationship was on top but after that he starts ignoring me. I am still with him. Now, he is saying it was a attaraction and he has no feeling for me. I am very curious what to do? I love him very much and cant leave without him. Some times he abuse me in front of his friends also.
How to tackle this situation. I dont want to lose him. Dont say to forget him. Coz that is the main part which i cant do.
Love Guru: Manali-Sutar, you can hang around but seems obvious from what you describe that he has lost interest in you. In just two months, you ask? Yeah, it's known to happen. Now you can make a doormat of yourself with him, or get a life and move on.
dhanpal: A front house girl our lane, sitting in window, when I look at her, she angrily shuts the door or immediately runs into the house? does this mean that she hates me a lot? what should I imagine.
Love Guru: Dhanpal, no, hate is not the right word here, she is annoyed by what she thinks is your interest in her. She may be sitting at her window for any number of reasons, but she doesn't want you think she is waiting for you. Because men are known to jump to this and many more silly assumptions
arla raghavendra babu: how to pacify a girl who loves me but become angry for silly things
Love Guru: Garla Raghavendra Babu, did it ever strike you that what you describe as 'silly things' may not be silly for her? For her, possibly they mean the most, and her anger is because you are not seeing it from her, vulnerable, viewpoint but are seeing it from your unthinking male perspective which tends to dismiss most things it doesn't agree with as silly.
Gajanan Bose: I love this girl. She loves me too very much. Problem is I always insists her for marriage and she always denies. Always she gives me unacceptable reasons. What is her problem?
Love Guru: Gajanan Bose, who said one always wants to marry the person one loves? People are known to choose differently for a relationship and for marriage. Possibly she feels that while you are relationship material, you are not marriage material. Don't ask me why she feels that way,I don't have an answer to that one
Megha Nambiar: HI Lg How r u? I have been in a relationship with this since last 2 years he had a bad past. Now his past is coming in present and hi says he has just a friendship with her. This situation annoying me. what to do? plz advise..
Love Guru: Megha Nambiar, tough one. You suspect he hasn't gotten over her fully? You may be right. Many men have issues with applying full closure. Every relationship has its set of red lines that cannot be crossed, you need to sit him down and explain it to him patiently and in a language he understands
minnie: Love Guru, can life partner and soul mate be two different persons? how to manage both, pls adv
Love Guru: Minnie, as I was telling someone else just now, a soul mate is different from a life partner. A life partner is the steady beam of the lighthouse which helps us in our voyage through life; soul mates are like the fleeting stars in the sky that make our journey memorable and pleasant. You can't mistake one for the other
Naresh Kumar: I think love guru is sleeping
Love Guru: Naresh Kumar, no, LG was stuck in traffic, that's all, and since I drive myself I couldn't start my laptop till I reached my office. Sorry about that
Naresh Kumar: its ok sir don't be sorry just solve the problems, many sick people are there
dhanpal: what happens finally in case of boy and girl who were very much in love with each other, but could not marry and marries to other boy and girl? do they still love at the age of 60 years or forget each other over a period of time.
Love Guru: Dhanpal, it seems to me you have been seeing too many Bollywood movies, don't believe everything you see there, it's a world of make-believe.
Sarah: Dera Love Guru.. Is there such a thing as a soul mate?
Love Guru: Sarah, let me ask you a counter-question. What makes you think there isn't such a thing as a soul mate? The mistake we often make is that we fill the soul mate concept with romance and relationship etc. A soul mate could be anyone who shares a few beautiful moments with you, is on the same page as you for however brief a while. Haven't you had such an experience? And yet you ask?
Lalji Margasahayam: My wife caught me cheating. i really regret cheating on her now that i think of it. she is not willing to take me back. what do i do?
Love Guru: Lalji Margasahayam, let me ask you what I ask everyone who has a similar complaint. Assume the roles were reversed, you caught her cheating, will you take her back? What would you have her do in order to take her back? Now try applying your answers to yourself
ARUN JOSHI: My wife is extremely shoet tempered and keeps thinking of past sorrows.Advise how to get her out of this?anna
Love Guru: Arun Joshi/Anna, your wife needs some expert help. There are any number of new age therapies being offered, some of which I am told are very effective for intra-personal conflicts.Maybe the two of you should enroll for one and see?
Naresh Kumar: HELP ! HELP ! HELP !how can I find true love ?
Love Guru: Naresh Kumar, maybe you could look in the dictionary? But seriously, in life the rule is quite simple, what you put out comes back to you, call this what you will. So rather than look for true love elsewhere, find it within yourself and it will get reciprocated
Ambani Organics: my boyfrend is cheated me but still i love him. he said plz dont come back in my life but I really like him. I cant live without him
Love Guru: Ambani Organics, let me get this straight. Your boyfriend cheated on you, and he told you not to come back into his life, and you miss him, you can't live without him? But he seems to be managing splendidly without you, isn't it? You can try to worm your way back into his life, but I am afraid things won't change for the better
Gajanan Bose: How do i get her to trust me?
Love Guru: Gajanan Bose, if you have to try, I think it's going to be an uphill task. She doesn't trust you when you are being yourself, is it?
Shankar Kathurde: So this girl tells me she would like to hang out with me but not want to go out with me. what the hell does that even mean
Love Guru: Shankar Kathurde, she means she only wants to remain friends with you, lest you get any ideas since she is hanging around with you. Geddid?
Madhumita Gosh: I don't want to marry. i don't believe in weddings. But my partner of 7 years wants to. do you think this can be a deal breaker
Love Guru: Madhumita Ghosh, you have a problem on hand. Either you have a wedding coming up, or a new partner, I think
Vinu Murthy: Dear love guru, what is the meaning of life
Love Guru: Vinu Murthy, more worthy men and women than I have attempted to find the answer to your question. I don't have an answer, I am afraid.
Megha Nambiar: What is the biggest problem you have faced in your love life?
Love Guru: Megha Nambiar, the biggest problem I have come across is that couples mistake love for possessiveness, when it should mean the exact opposite.
Aprosh Aarsiwala: My girlfriend refuses to share the password of her phone with me.I think she is cheating on me? We've been dating for two years now.
Love Guru: Aprosh Aarsiwala, have you shared the password of your phone with her? Ok, you have. But that doesn't naturally mean that she has to share hers with you, right? Heard of something called privacy? I suggest you learn to respect it in others, however close they maybe to you
Simon Xavier: Do you think it is possible to make a long distance relationship work? How? please advise
Love Guru: Simon Xavier, tough ask, that. I mean, I have not in my time come across a long distance relationship that's held on beyond two years. Relationships need presence, which in turn dispels insecurity. But this is not to discourage you, no. Give it your best shot, and hope it works for you:)
Rajni Negi: I am in a long distance relationship from the last 5 years. But his father is strictly against our marriage as m from kumanuni and he is punjabi. My family force me to get married as m 28 years old. We both love each other a lot.
Love Guru: Rajni Negi, the most important point here what does your partner want, I get a sense of what you want, but not what he wants. If his family is unrelenting, but if he is with you all the way, will he agree to step out of their shadow? Ask him that. Your course of action cannot be unilateral, but will have to involve him fully
mohammad irshad: love guru . i loved a girl when i was in college during my MBA.i loved her like my ibaadat. but she never loved me while she used me for her life. after 3 years she is doing job and me also but i still love her what shud i do
Love Guru: Mohammad Irshad, your story sounds sad. How long do you plan to wallow in this self-pity, tragic lover kind of thing? Merely because you pine for her doesn't mean she is going to change her mind. I suggest you forget her, and get on with your life
Sahota Papers: [SKB] Sir I got married but I don't like my wife coz she doesn't look good. My love is not coming out for her so that I want to do friendship with some other girl. please help how to go about that.
Love Guru: Sahota Papers, I think you've come to the wrong place. What you need is not the Love Guru but a divorce lawyer, I think
Arumugam Govindhan: I had long time friend working on my company. She developed a affair with my partner and destroyed the company by spying as per his instruction. she has used me for all her financial requirement, but played with me by double speaking. she was sent out, but still not stopped the spying. what to do now and what is her mind set.
Love Guru: Arumugam, this seems like corporate espionage at its best, or worst, depending on how you see it. Have you thought of going to the economic crimes police, assuming you have proof of what you say? And next time, don't mix business and friendship
RAJENDRA AGRAWAL: my girlfriend cheated me what i have to do
Love Guru: Rajendra Agrawal, there are many things you can do. But what is it that you'd like to do?