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New to online dating? Be realistic, not desperate

By Solene Paillet
April 29, 2020 13:30 IST
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With constant messaging or calling, you might give him a cold foot. So be assertive and show that you have control over your life, says Solene Paillet.

New to online dating? Don't be desperate

Don't get lured in by raunchy pick up lines. Photograph: Courtesy

It's a match!

Online dating is continuing to surge in popularity and constantly evolve.

It is a fun arena to explore dating and meet potential partners, but at the same time, online dating is no quick fix.

Despite being smart, we tend to sometimes land up doing things that can mess up the relationship in the future. But there's no need to be intimidated if you are new to the online dating scene.

Whether you are preparing for your first date or you are well-versed in the online dating world, we are here to ace up your game.

As you navigate the waters for the first time, here are few things you should know while dating someone online.

Your dating bio should be on point

DO post a recent picture and write an honest description of yourself.

The more explicit the bio, the better chances of you meeting a potential match.

Also, you will be more likely to connect with people who are genuinely interested in who you are.

Be realistic, not desperate

You’ve finally found someone.

Yay! Now you would be probably thinking of texting, calling or being with them all the time.

But stop! It's vital to know the art of balancing communication at the beginning of a relationship -- give it away as much as you get.

With constant messaging or calling, you might give him a cold foot. So be assertive and show that you have control over your life.

Get on a call

DO move the conversation from DMs (direct messaging) to phone calls.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but some people are great writers -- or even have a friend ghost-writing for them.

In a phone call, you’ll get a better sense of whether your personalities click.

Make sure to use the right app so your private conversations stay safe.

DO be prepared for being let down

It happens to the best of us. Whether it’s being stood up or being told by someone on your 7th date that 'there just isn’t that spark.'

Yes, it might be embarrassing but it’s not likely that you’ll bump into each other again.

Just keep forging forward, take things as they come, dust yourself off and start again.

Trust us when we say 'good things come to those who wait!'

DO embrace it

True, online dating requires a thick skin, just like real life. So, gather up all the attention and make the most of it. Enjoy it, have fun!

Remember it's a part of a bigger picture.

As we said right at the start, online dating is no quick fix.

In its simplest form, it is a great way to get connected with people you otherwise wouldn’t meet.

That said, it shouldn’t be a substitute for meeting new people in real life.

If you’re too nervous or there is a devoid in self-confidence to meet people in the big wide world, meeting people online will only get you so far. After all, that’s what you’re here for isn’t it?

DON’T get lured in by raunchy pickup lines

It's easy to get twirl up in the excitement of new possibilities but keep your feet on the ground.

Avoid getting lured in by cheesy pick up lines like, “Looking to spoil the person of my dreams with flowers and candlelit dinners” or “enjoy sunset strolls on the beach.”

Anyone can pen down something like this, but few are truly interested in doing this for someone they haven't even met yet.

Humour can be a wonderful icebreaker, but also remember you are worth more than a lame pick up line. Someone who genuinely wants to get to know you will take the time to do so.

DON'T throw in the towel too quickly

Online dating does speed up the courting process (good for your social life, bad for your guilt complex), so try to abide by the rule.

Generally, you will know by having a phone conversation whether there's a spark and if it's something worth pursuing.

Therefore, weigh the pros and cons before deciding to meet someone. Smell if you have anything in common and then take the big step.

Err on the side of caution.

DON'T give out too much personal information 

Be aware and protect yourself as it is essential for safe online dating.

Don't give out your house address or have them pick you up, but instead, meet in a public place where there are plenty of people around, like a restaurant, cafe, park, or some other place where there’s typically a good crowd.

Meeting at a place you are already familiar will give you the freedom to head back home if things are going south.

Public places also act as a good icebreaker as it allows you to talk about things around.

DON’T expect too much

Count on the time to get to know each other.

Just because a date has been fixed doesn't mean that you have a ready-made relationship.

Remember, sometimes that spark isn’t there even when you have everything in common.

Let things evolve organically and simply roll with the punches.

It sounds corny -- but sometimes, the journey is just as important as the destination.

Solene Paillet is marketing specialist at Gleeden, a discreet extramarital dating site for women. She can be contacted on

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Solene Paillet