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ASK LOVE GURU: 'Sex with colleague; I may be pregnant'

By LOVE GURU
November 22, 2022 15:52 IST
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'Doctors, particularly gynaecologists, have a duty to protect the privacy of their patients. So visit your own gynaec and undergo a thorough test,' advises Love Guru.

Love Guru

Illustration: Uttam Ghosh/Rediff.com

If you are facing relationship issues -- and if you are in a relationship, you're facing issues -- we have someone you can discuss them with freely.

Meet Love Guru, who won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it.

So if you feel you want some personal advice, do write in to getahead@rediff.co.in (Subject: Ask Love Guru).

If you wish to remain anonymous, do let us know and your name won't be disclosed when publishing responses to your queries.

 

I am 18. I had unprotected sex with my project partner. I had an emergency pill quickly but I am getting anxious by the day. It's been two weeks now. But I am scared to visit a doctor. Can you
suggest a doctor or helpline who can give me honest advice without informing my parents. I am not able to focus on anything. Pls help.

My dear, I understand the stress but doctors, and particularly gynaecologists, have a duty to protect the privacy of their patients. So visit your own gynaec and undergo a thorough test to set your mind at ease.

Even if you are pregnant, there are pills/procedures that can terminate the pregnancy if you wish to do so.

You are legally an adult, so no doctor is going to break the code of ethics and inform your parents post your visit.

Next time, be more careful; don't end up sleeping with someone on a whim and particularly do not indulge in unprotected intercourse as there are consequences to bear. 

 

Hi. I recently got married in an arranged setup. 
I feel like my wife -- who is the youngest of the lot among her five sisters -- is quite emotionally distant from me. She neither likes to talk to me much nor engages with my parents. But as I noticed, she is constantly on call/text with her sisters and mother. It also occurred to me that she shares all the nitty-gritty of our relationship with her family -- which felt like an invasion of my privacy. I don't want my parents to worry about this as they are old, so I assured them it will be alright. She, on other hand, said that things are just ok as they are. This left me bumfuzzled. I am worried if I made a mistake marrying this person. 

She seems rather detached.

Explain that you would like her to be more involved in the marriage and share more of an equation with you.

Ask if she is comfortable in your home. Listen to what she has to say; if there are any complaints, address them.

It sounds like you live with your parents, and at the onset let me tell you that is usually a mistake. Particularly in an arranged set-up, where she has to adjust to not one but three people with whom there is little emotional attachment from the start.

Your problem should not be her sharing her life with her own family; that is unfair. Why not, if she is expected to share her home with yours? Because you're a man?

But yes, you should actively try to establish a warmer relationship with your wife. Being kind, open and compromising will go a long way in having her open up to you.

Hi Love Guru,
Something utterly weird happened to me recently.
While scrolling through a dating app, I came across the profile of my cousin's husband. 
I don't know whether I should take this to her or talk to him first.
Please help. 

That is a tricky situation.

Your loyalties lie with your cousin and if you take it to him, he may just try to cover up the situation.

The best thing would be to discreetly let her know and handle it.

Just tell her to remain loyal to you in turn and maybe you both can say that she was going through the app with you and you came across his profile together. There's precious little he could say about that!

  • Read all of Love Guru's columns here.

 


This column is not for the psychologically disturbed, or those who need professional help for severe mental trauma. It's for those who can't discuss their issues freely with parents, or friends or partner. Or dog. Or just want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual.

Maybe your partner is the problem? Or maybe you are the problem and just don't know it. And need Rediff.com's Love Guru to tell you just that.

So if you feel you want some personal advice, do write in to getahead@rediff.co.in (Subject: Ask Love Guru).

If you wish to remain anonymous, do let us know and your name won't be disclosed when publishing responses to your queries.

The questions and answers in this advisory are published to help the individual asking the question as well the large number of readers who read the same.

While we value our readers' requests for privacy and avoid using their actual names along with the question whenever a request is made, we regret that no question will be answered personally on e-mail.

Please note: All content and media herein is written and published online for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional advice. It should not be relied on as your only source for advice.

Please always seek the guidance of a qualified professional with any questions you may have about your relationships. Do not ever disregard the advice of a qualified professional, or delay in seeking it because of something you have read herein.

If you choose to rely on any information provided herein, you do so solely at your own risk.

Opinions expressed herein cannot necessarily provide advice to fit the exact specifics of the issues of the person requesting advice.

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