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15 Things Bollywood expects the heroine to do

March 08, 2019 12:19 IST

Who says Bollywood gals have it easy?

A lot of good changes are happening in Hindi cinema. But when it comes to the leading lady, there's a still whole lot of room for improvement.

Just look at the things she has to do.

Some of it is crazy, some plain cruel.

This Women's Day, Sukanya Verma looks at the many, many, MANY expectations Bollywood has from the quintessential Hindi Film Heroine.

 

1. Change her wardrobe after 8 seconds

Clothes maketh the man, but it's the woman who bears the brunt in Bollywood. The poor thing must change into a dozen costumes while neither the hero nor his shirt budges from its spot.

 

2. Cry at the drop of a hat

The force is strong with Nirupa Roy.

From Asha Parekh to Alia Bhatt, silver screen has soaked in generations of rona dhona.

There's even an iconic line -- 'Pushpa, I hate tears' -- to show how much they are shed in Hindi movies.

 

3. Dance. Whenever, Wherever!

Come rain, hail or cabaret, winter or wedding, around a hoop or atop a drum, the Bollywood actress is obliged a shake a leg in every setting and season jab tak hai jaan.

 

4. Scream for help!

Lozenges industries thrive on her ability to belt out an earth-shattering yelp, er, 'Bachao! Bachao!'

 

5. Master the art of nakhras

Someone please give a chill pill to the hoity-toity princess brigade.

 

6. Flying mane!

The only beings to possess superpower in Bollywood are the heroine's hair.

Always freshly shampooed, salon ready and hovering above head on cue.

Wonder of wonders, not one hair out of place after the fake breeze dies down.

 

7. Own a bikini body

Who cares if she can't swim to save her life, but swimsuit friendly figure is a must.

 

8. Believe in bhagwan

Hey remember that time when the average Hindi film heroine didn't believe in God? We thought so.

 

9. Round the clock make-up.

No matter what time of the day, whether she's enjoying a bubble bath, taking a nap, drooling in her sleep or mugging for her exams, mascara and lip-gloss are an absolute must.

 

10 Voluntary unprofessionalism

If she's a lawyer, she'll fall for her client.

If she's a doctor, she'll fall for her patient.

If she's a cop, she'll fall for the crook. Oh and the khaki uniform must fit extra tight.

 

11. Be all things at once

In the same movie, she'll play the hero's coquettish classmate, impress his mom with her domestic skills and perform a sizzling item number in the villain's den to save everyone's life until the hero is ready to rescue.

 

12. Give up her tomboy ways

No matter how fun or fabulous her natural impulses are, she must sacrifice them to appear more feminine in the hero's eyes.

Makeover is a Bollywood heroine's middle name.

 

13. Bend, bow or beg

Cringe. Cringe. Cringe.

 

14. Forgive the hero no matter what he does

He can be a molester, murderer, adulterer or world-class scoundrel, but our filmi heroine's heart is made of wax, it'll melt.

 

15. Find contentment in staying the hero's arm candy.

After putting up with so much, this is her reward? A joke of a happily ever-after.

Sukanya Verma