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Rediff.com  » Getahead » Modern Love: How Parents Can Support Dating

Modern Love: How Parents Can Support Dating

By Rediff Get Ahead
May 23, 2022 11:05 IST
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'Start with spending more time together, going out for lunch and dinners, or talking about any TV series which is trying to break taboos.
'When the time is right, take the next step, and ask if they are seeing someone.
'You cannot push them at any cost as it might just delay the process even more.'

Kindly note the image -- a scene from Masaba Masaba that airs on Netflix -- has been posted only for representational purposes.

Dating can be hard, right?

So who do you turn to for advice on those difficult days?

While friends are often our designated confidantes; your parents, especially your mum, could be the one to reach out to for advice grounded in experience, understanding and unconditional support.

With their own rich experience of life, mothers know best -- even when it comes to dating advice -- and can be a guiding force in their children's dating journeys.

Indian mums whose daughters made the first move and met their partners on the dating app Bumble share their thoughts on online dating and their insights on how to have an open mind and communicate clearly with your children.

1. Educate your mum about online dating

Both Sunidhi and Kushal weren't strong believers of online dating. But as fate would have it they found each other on an online dating app!

Anita, Sunidhi's mother, was a bit hesitant about online dating to begin with. She says, "There is a learning curve that can only be brought forward by children. With time and better knowledge, I think parents will be more receptive and confident about their kids finding love online."

"It's important for mothers to instill the basic principles of a relationship and the foundation on which it lies.

"I have talked about my learnings in life with my daughter which I feel has helped her choose the right person.

"As Sunidhi grew up, we became better friends and it became easier for her to come and talk to me about her feelings.

2. Have faith in your children

It is only after their parents insisted that Aradhana and Vinay signed up to meet potential partners online.

As two people looking for marriage, they instantly hit it off and got married within a year -and-a-half of dating!

Aradhana's mother Vandana Jagota, who was really excited when she came to know that her daughter has found her perfect guy.

"Mums can be allies to their children's dating lives by trusting them. They should have full confidence that the children will do what is right and good for them.

"Children should consider their mum as a friend and have an open conversation about their dating lives. There should be no hesitation either from the children's or parent's side," says Jagota.

3. Create a safe environment

As they say, when it's right, it's right!

Within three months of dating, Sanya and Utkarsh were engaged to each other.

Shabnam Kundra, Sanya's mother, says that most parents tend to get nosy with their questions but she has always ensured that her daughter felt comfortable discussing her relationships and heartbreaks ever since she was a teenager.

"If you are a mother, who started this practice late, always remember that patience is the key to nurturing any relationship.

"Take one step at a time. Start with spending more time together, going out for lunch and dinners, or talking about any TV series which is trying to break taboos. When the time is right, take the next step, and ask if they are seeing someone. You cannot push them at any cost as it might just delay the process even more.

Trusting your mother to be your friend and ally could empower you to embark on your dating journey with renewed confidence and vigour.

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