rediffGURU Ravi Mittal, CEO of Quack Quack offers advice on how to handle conflicting desires in a relationship.
- You can post your questions to rediffGURU Ravi Mittal HERE.
What do you do when you want to have children but your partner does not?
It's normal for couples to have conflicting views about a person or a situation.
Do you expect them to change their minds later?
"People rarely change their minds. Neither you, nor he, are likely to change your minds about kids. And neither of you should have to," advises rediffGURU Ravi Mittal, CEO of Quack Quack, an online dating Web site.
Anonymous: Hello coach. I am dating a 42-year-old man who is almost perfect for marriage.
He is kind, successful and we have great chemistry. But there is a problem.
He says he never wants to have kids.
The thing is, I want to be a mother someday. I feel so bad about this.
Everything else is so right. Should I give up on him or continue the relationship, hoping that he will change his mind?
Dear Anonymous, I understand your dilemma.
It is difficult to find the perfect man. But if you do this, it means you are losing a part of yourself.
The choice you are talking about here is very personal; I will suggest that you think long and hard about it.
People rarely change their minds. Neither you nor he is likely to change your minds about kids. And neither of you should have to.
Now, it is only a matter of what is more important to you. But I would also recommend that you think about the future.
Today, he might seem like the most important thing in your life. And right now, he might seem enough. But if you rush into choosing him, there's a good chance you will resent him in the future.
Have an honest conversation with him and come to a decision.
You might as well ask him if there's any chance he will ever change his mind. This way, you will have better clarity.
I hope this helps.
- You can post your questions to rediffGURU Ravi Mittal HERE.
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