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How to Talk to Women on a Dating App

July 30, 2021 10:24 IST
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Start the conversation with an opener that does not intimidate her, is an open-ended question and paves the way for further communication, suggests Ravi Mittal, founder, Quack Quack, an online dating app.

online dating

IMAGE: Kindly note the image -- a scene from the film C U Soon -- has been posted only for representational purposes.

One day, you finally decided to turn things around in your life, change your relationship status and downloaded that dating app.

You thought of meeting someone new and fantasized about going on a date, bringing them a bunch of roses, having dinner and wine and spending the evening like a scene pulled from a Shah Rukh Khan film.

But wait, wait, wait right there.

Back up a little. You are dreaming of a romantic evening but are afraid of approaching girls on dating apps?

Wondering what to say and how to go from there?

Dating app QuackQuack recently did a survey to understand what girls expect from dating apps:

Some interesting findings from the survey:

  • 49% female users said that a 'Hi' would suffice to begin the exchange of messages. While a funny or intriguing message is what they look forward to, most of the men hardly succeed in delivering it and end up copying cliches from the Internet.
  • 47% said that beginning the conversation with 'something from the other person's profile' works. It shows they have taken the time to read and go through it.
  • A whopping 78% of women said that it is better to avoid sexual messages in the beginning and that they can be more of a turn off than anything else.

Based on the above recommendations, here are some tips to help you communicate better on a dating app:

1. Start with a hello

You can just say: 'Hi! How are you? How has your day been?' or make it more fun such as 'Helloooo from the other siiiidddddeeee' or the classic 'Hello, is it me you're looking for?' in the Lionel Richie way.

You can then move it up a notch and talk about what you like or what she likes, what is common between the two of you and what piques her interest.

Don't go for a big entrance if it is not your style and talk about everyday things.

It depends on how you take it and keep it going.

Keep it simple as long as it is engaging and you are both enjoying texting each other back and forth.

Ask her little details about her day and what she did on the weekend or likes to do on the weekend.

Questions like 'What was something that made you smile today?' or 'What's something different you did this weekend?' break the usual, monotonous chain of messages her inbox is filled with and also guarantee a reply.

2. Take it slow

Start the conversation with an opener that does not intimidate her, is an open-ended question and paves the way for further communication.

Sounds too much, doesn't it? It actually is not much.

Now you want to begin with an opener that catches her attention and ensures that you are not looking for a platonic relationship.

You can use questions such as: 'What is your most unusual fear?' or 'What's your idea of a perfect day?' or 'Which personality trait do you appreciate the most in a person?' or 'If you could rule over the entire world for a day, what would you do?'

They would not only help you understand the other person better but will definitely gear the discussion towards interesting and creative answers.   

3. Pick words from her profile

If she likes a Web series, ask her how long she took to binge watch it or better yet, use a dialogue from it : 'Do you not share food like Joey as well? or 'What are the things YOU do for love?'

If she has a favourite band, ask her if she has attended their live concert(s), what it was like and does she have a collection of their albums?

If she likes travelling, ask her about the cities and countries she has visited, which one was the most beautiful, which one was the biggest cultural shock and which one(s) held the most life changing experiences and made for amazing stories?

If she is a bibliophile, ask her about her favourite fictional male character and what makes him so? (FYI, all girls love Mr Darcy).

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