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Are you making these DATING MISTAKES?

By RAVI MITTAL
April 27, 2021 13:24 IST
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Don't ever prioritise pleasing the other person, says Ravi Mittal, CEO, Quack Quack, an online dating app.
After all, you are looking for a relationship and not a raise at your job.

Online dating: Mistakes to avoid

Kindly note the image has been posted only for representational purposes. Photograph: Kind courtesy Pexels.com

The early days of a relationship are no less than a fairytale or what we often see in movies and fantasise about.

We have no track of time, food and sleep; texts from friends go unanswered and everything appears perfect after a long while.

But, with many people, soon comes a phase of arguments, lack of trust and that's when we start to see the other person's flaws.

This is because of some common mistakes that many people make in their early days of dating.

What appears perfect may not be!

There are many mistakes that one can make while dating.

Most of these mistakes are such that would never click one's mind unless they have had a bad experience.

So, why wait for an experience to teach you a lesson when you can save yourself from a wrong relationship just by keeping the following points in mind.

1. Being too rigid in what you want

It's good to have an image of an ideal partner in mind but don't be over-obsessed with your checklist.

While you must analyse your partner's habits on the first few dates, don't judge their personality traits just on the basis of their political beliefs, favourite cuisines, their monthly earnings and so on.

After all, you are searching for a prospective partner, not a job.

2. Not learning from past relationships

Don't just let go of your past relationships instead see what went wrong.

May be you are doing something wrong which you didn't realise yet or may be your perceptions about a date need to modified.

This way, you will be better placed for a healthy relationship.

3. Always being into each other

It is a human trait -- we tend to stay over connected with our partner in the early days of relationship.

Though it may seem fun, it can ruin things in no time.

It's perfectly acceptable to go a bit slow, draw boundaries and learn more about each other before diving in too deep.

4. Talking too much about your previous relationships

While it's not wrong to let the other person know about your past, it's not at all a good idea to keep talking about it at length.

Sharing too much too soon can send a wrong signal to the other person.

Your focus should be on the present and not what you went through in the past. But, if the grief of your last breakup is still on your heart and mind, may be you are not ready for a new relationship.

5. Thinking that 'she/he is the one'

Give time to your relationship and know each other well before you come down to the decision that 'this is the one'.

May be the other person really turns out to be the one but may be she/he is the wrong choice.

6. Being a bad listener

If you expect the other person to listen to you, understand you and may be empathise with you; be the same with her/him as well.

Give equal time to listening to each other and understanding one another's view points. This is the foundation of a healthy and long lasting relationship.

7. Indulging in self depreciation humour

While it is good to have a sense of humour, there is a fine line between humour and devaluing yourself.

Never do that. Never put yourself down, never under-estimate yourself and never set for lesser.

8. Judging the sexual compatibility in early days

It's perfectly fine if sex with a new partner doesn't come out to be mind blowing initially.

Don't judge your relationship on the first time you bond physically.

Give some time to the relationship.

If things continue to be bad in the bedroom, may be you are with the wrong person.

9. Agreeing for everything just to please the other person

Don't ever prioritise pleasing the other person.

After all, you are looking for a relationship and not a raise at your job.

Keep your point if you don't agree with what they say, share your feelings and be you.

10. Consciously hiding things

If you are consciously hiding some important things about you which a partner must know, please don't do that.

Never base your relationship on lies. Share what you feel needs to be shared when you are dating someone.

It is okay to be slower in the initial days of a relationship.

Over time, if you notice that your partner doesn't co-operate with you, may be you are with the wrong person.

Also, if at any point you feel something's off, analyse the same for a few days and if it doesn't get better even after that, may be you should quit the relationship.

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