Are you over 30, single, and frustrated with where life is heading?
Does the marriage hunt feel like a never-ending battle?
rediffGURU Anu Krishna, a mind coach and co-founder of Unfear Changemakers tells you how to move from a place of helplessness to think better about your life choices.
- You can post your questions to rediffGURU Anu Krishna HERE.
Anonymous: After corona, when everything shut down and I came home, I started struggling with frustration and anger issues.
Earlier, my father handled my marriage discussions, and I would reject proposals because, at 24, I did not want to get married. But then my father passed away during corona, and suddenly I became the eldest in the house with all the responsibilities.
I shifted with my mom and younger sister to a new city.
Life became different -- it was good in some ways, but also suffocating. I do not feel freedom anymore and have frequent quarrels with my mom because I feel she never takes my side.
For the last 5 years, I have been searching for a partner through matrimony sites and dating apps, but I have only faced disappointment.
Recently, I was in a relationship with a man who I later found out was already married and living with another woman.
This was heartbreaking and humiliating, and even his live-in partner contacted me to tell me the full truth.
I feel betrayed and foolish. Now I keep thinking about how badly he treated me, and I cannot stop talking about it.
My family gets tired of listening, and they ask me to move on, but I cannot. I feel like nobody understands how deeply it hurts me.
Being the eldest, I always feel the weight of responsibility and sacrifice, but never freedom or support.
I am 32 now, frustrated with the marriage search, dating apps, and family issues.
All my friends are settled, and I have no one to hang out with.
I really want to get married and start my married life, but I feel stuck, angry, and hopeless.
How can I deal with my anger and loneliness?
How do I stop ending up with the wrong people?
How can I move forward towards marriage and a happy life?
Dear Anonymous, corona is long gone and it's time for you to move out and be by yourself.
This will help you take charge of your life without intermingling too much with family; they need their space as well.
Treat your family as your support system and not a punching bag; that will only infuse more negativity and land back on you.
Take on a new project, learn a new skill, join a social group.
This new approach will take your focus off of the dating scene for a while and will help you reevaluate your choices towards a life partner.
At least you will move from helplessness to a more useful place which will enable you think better about your life and life choices.
All the best!
- You can post your questions to rediffGURU Anu Krishna HERE.
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