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ASK ANU: How to say NO to SEX

August 05, 2021 07:28 IST
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In Part 2 of's self-help series on marital relationships, mental health expert and life coach Anu Krishna discusses how lack of privacy and miscommunication between couples can affect their sex life.

Ask Anu: Can forced sex lead to divorce?

IMAGE: A scene from the film Haseen Dillruba that streams on Netflix. This image has been posted only for representational purposes.

In India, a vast majority of couples stay with their parents, relatives or family members for various reasons.

According to Anu Krishna, mental health expert and NLP (neuro linguistic programming) trainer, couples who come to her for counselling are concerned about the lack of privacy.

Whether it is a love or arranged marriage, says Anu, there are pros and cons to living with family.

"For example, you don't have the luxury of separate rooms. So couples tend to get frustrated with the arrangement."

If lack of privacy concerns you too, listen to Anu's simple yet effective advice for couples and family members:


Are relationship challenges different for LGBTQIA (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex and asexual) individuals?

What happens if either or both partners are queer?

Often, says Anu, individuals are yet to figure out their sexual orientation.

For example, someone might say: 'I don't know if I am gay.'

Anu shares her advice for queer couples in the video below:


While everyone's sexual desires and needs are different, Anu has an important tip for Indian women: "It is not your responsibility to make your man feel good in bed."

While it's okay to say NO, it's also necessary to explain why you said NO, says Anu.


While the lack of intimacy is concerning, so is abuse.

Forcing your partner -- male or female -- to have sex is also a serious, legally punishable crime.

Sometimes, women don't even realise they are being abused because they seek counsel from the wrong people -- sometimes from victims of abuse themselves who are unaware of solutions.

In this video, Anu explains how marital rape is normalised in Indian society and what you can do to help fight it.

Dear readers, if you have a question for Anu Krishna, please e-mail it to (Subject: Ask ANU) for her advice. Kindly mention and your request for privacy will be considered.

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