Why Hrithik, Kalki would make sexy vampires
Vampires are among us. Following the success of her Ragini MMS, Ekta Kapoor has announced a vampire film called Bloody Vir, even as Satish Kaushik tells us he too is making a vampire movie. Meanwhile, the Twilight saga is nearing completion with the last in the Bella-Edward-Jacob saga set to hit theatres next month.
But enough of tweens and bad vampires. If we are looking towards the fascinating bloodsuckers popularised by Bram Stoker's Dracula, we might as well draw up a wishlist of actors we'd like to see with fangs and bloodied mouths.
Here, then, is mine:
Her filmography consists of darkness, noir, shadowy backstories and much implied howling at the moon, showing that this occasionally goth chica has quite the acting pedigree to pounce on an unsuspecting neck and fear sunshine.
She's pretty, talented, and so quirky she'd probably enjoy sleeping in a coffin.
Image: Kalki Koechlin
A striking specimen of manhood who enjoys an adrogynous appeal, Roshan has the added advantage of timelessness.
Thanks to cookie commercials and diverse movie choices, we have no trouble imagining him in Edwardian England, Casanova-era Europe, Mughal India and even the future.
Vampires are an immortal lot, and Roshan can flit from era to era with ease.
Image: Hrithik Roshan
He has the scowl down pat. The Brooder is a vampire archetype, a literally world-weary immortal tired of humanity's feeble foibles.
He's the kind who'd just want to eat his pancakes in peace, but alas, buxom waitresses with thick accents would find him far too irresistible.
Image: Farhan Akhtar
Pale enough to look freakishly scared of daylight, the luminous Kareena Kapoor is otherwordly enough to fit in as a supernatural creature of the night.
She can look eerie when she wants to, those eyes are hard to look away from, and if she asked us to bare our necks, most of us would succumb only too gladly.
Image: Kareena Kapoor
Maybe it's the committed manner in which she goes after mangoes and drains them of their juices in commercials, but I firmly believe Katrina would look really, really good with fangs.
She's got the right look for both the original ingenue, filled with naivete as well as, as the centuries tick on, a femme fatale given to seducing her prey.
Image: Katrina Kaif
One of the few Bollywood truisms that you can hold on to is the fact that Aamir Khan can do anything.
One of our most chameleonic leading men, it would be great to see Khan sink his teeth into a sinister vampire role, perhaps like Tom Cruise's memorable Vampire Lestat in Neil Jordan's Interview With The Vampire.
Image: Aamir Khan
Photographs: Pradeep Bandekar
Her early career was built on hysteria and mental derangement, and so excellent is Kangna at playing the unhinged that she'd make an ideal victim in a vampire movie, a screeching and alarmed golliwog-haired lass with extreme lung power.
Once-bitten, of course, she'd quickly turn into one of the creepiest vampires around.
Image: Kangna Ranaut
Shah Rukh Khan
It takes all sorts to make up a vampire world, and Khan would fit right into the sleek, mature, know-it-all vampire who bends the rules only for himself, a la Antonio Banderas in Interview With The Vampire.
Brush back his hair with a lot of gel, give him a cloak and we're set. And several people in Bollywood will attest to the quickwitted Khan having very sharp fangs indeed.
Image: Shah Rukh Khan
Neil Nitin Mukesh
The blue-eyed, classically cheekboned young himbo is yet another vampire movie archetype, and Mukesh -- who is trying very earnestly hard to build a career out of looking clueless and nervous -- is just right for the part of the non-alpha vampire.
Also, if we can get Sriram Raghavan to direct, he might actually even come off looking impressive.
Image: Neil Nitin Mukesh
There is creepy and there is dark and then there is Rekha, the fatalest of our femmes, a boa constrictor who could swallow up many a man.
If we are to believe everything we read about her, she might even have real fangs she files off before facing the cameras. And when was the last time you saw her in daylight?