Be it as a source of fire, secret or endgame, everything is seen through the prism of sex and good looks in The Royals, observes Sukanya Verma.
When a prince of a dippy, strapped-for-cash royal family meets a pushy possessor of a hospitality start-up, foreplay makes way for a financially profitable proposition.
Creator Rangita Pritish Nandy's modern-day fairy tale, directed by Priyanka Ghose and Nupur Asthana, is tailor-made for rom-com vibes.
While the makers embellish the couple's 'blow hot and cold' equation with ample of visual razzmatazz, their wet blanket chemistry and dowdily-crafted scenes of 'opposites attract' prove to be a buzzkill for its eight scatterbrained episodes.
Add to that a cliffhanger ending and unresolved issues that follow once skeletons pop out of the closet, the prolonging seems unwarranted.
Ishaan Khatter's Aviraaj aka Fizzy is a shirt-resisting, polo-playing, party animal and Maharaja-to-be, fretfully following his recently deceased father's orders to ascend the throne of Morpur while siblings with equally silly nicknames -- Diggy (hilarious Vihaan Samat) and Jinni (bright-eyed Kavya Trehan) secretly pursue their own paths.
Jinni's queer impulses and Diggy's culinary chef dreams wherein he sneaks into competitions dressed as Bertie Wooster claiming 'palace mein bartan saaf karta hoon' to deflect attention define their one dimensional purpose.
Aviraaj's mum (Sakshi Tanwar) is too preoccupied by her own mindless flings (a tacky Chunky Pandey, a shady Alyy Khan) to pay much notice. In the hands of a lesser actress, this character could turn out to be a caricature but Tanwar's cool zing and firm sass creates virtues out of thin air. Too bad The Royals has no idea what to do with all that cheek.
But the real bummer is Zeenat Aman's -- the most naturally regal and curiously cast member of its ensemble cast -- role is only a special appearance. Nevertheless, her dotty, devil-may-care grandmother, the kind Zohra Sehgal would nail in a heartbeat, is a fleeting but fabulous embodiment of The Royals and its -- hum kuch karte nahi, hum bas hain -- maxim.
At the other end of this royal spectrum is Bhumi Pednekar as Sophia -- bearing an uncanny resemblance to Sobhita Dhulipala from Made in Heaven -- desperate to realise her B&B vision of bringing royals and commoners together across a business model that her boss shows little faith in and co-partner (a staid Udit Arora) only appears to play along.
Be it as a source of fire, secret or endgame, everything is seen through the prism of sex and good looks in The Royals.
Much of the screen time is devoted to lusting over the chiselled abs and muscular torsos of its men and women dressed in fancy designer attire with every episode throwing in a reason for revelry.
The same courtesy is extended towards the dead too. The late Maharaja is an eternally smouldering Milind Soman striking his supermodel pose for portraits when not popping up for flashbacks to unravel the mystery behind him leaving the bulk of his inheritance to a mystery called Maurice.
From its Gossip Girl-like glamourous aesthetic to Sophia's Emily in Paris evoking chaotic love life, The Royals is as derivative as it gets, treading the done-to-death path of extramarital affairs, gay love and lavender marriages to keep its boat of sensation floating.
There's a surplus of cheesy humour where one-liners sound like 'green flag nahi green forest hai' and crisis is created around bat potty solely to make characters quip, 'Bat Shit', characters have names like Salad (Dino Morea in vacation mode), keeping with The Royals' penchant for ridiculous pet names, so that five episodes later, somebody gets to crack a dumb dressing joke.
Amidst these chalky cliches and cringeworthy wit, the subplot involving Diggy's gastronomical interests shows far more potential than the lacklustre romance at the centre of all action. Except The Royals is too lazy to give it any real bite.
Leave it to Nora Fatehi then as the hoity toity princess, fully aware of her net worth and floor-burning flourish, to pack in far more sizzle with Ishaan Khatter in one dance than all the eight episodes between him and Bhumi going back and forth.
Ishaan has an easy charm about him.
He is convincingly arrogant and tender in turns as the reluctant royal ready to catch the first flight to New York.
But the daft script refuses to let the man be.
Always contradicting himself, shirking responsibilities only to take them on his own will and promptly blaming everyone when he fails to deliver, his whiny temperament and erratic attitude is dangerous and not hot unlike what The Royals want us to believe.
Pluck comes naturally to Bhumi Pednekar but in empowering Sophia too forcefully, she renders her manipulative, passive-aggressive and unlikeable. There's nothing to root for about her shallow passions towards the prince.
What's far more enticing is the look of luxury.
The Royals and its resplendent wardrobe make a case for keeping up appearances far more effectively than all its topsy-turvy inhabitants over eight lame episodes of soapy royal drama.
The Royals streams on Netflix.
© 2025