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10 Signs Your Partner is Insecure

By SYBIL SHIDDELL
November 24, 2022 12:58 IST
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During arguments or even in a conversation, an insecure partner tends to put the entire blame on you and plays the victim because s/he seeks attention.

Irrespective of what their reasons might be, this is not a healthy sign, warns Sybil Shiddell, country manager India, Gleeden, a discreet extra marital dating Web site.

Kindly note the image -- a scene from Gehraiyaan, which streams on Amazon Prime Video -- has been posted only for representational purposes.

Good relationships can empower both partners to be the best versions of themselves.

However, life can sometimes be tough and things may not always go as planned.

An unfortunate incident, a bad memory or a person can make you feel insecure and less confident about yourself or your partner.

Insecurity, both in personal and professional life, can damage the emotional bond between partners and lead to serious issues.

What makes it a bigger concern in some cases, is when one partner is insecure about the other.

This further grows into jealousy, spite and negative emotions.

Controlling this early on before the insecurity gets bigger is absolutely essential to keep the relationship happy and healthy.

These are 10 signs to know that your partner is insecure:

1. Lack of independent social life

When two people are together for most of the time, at least one of them will crave for a little space and alone time.

If you notice that your partner is always tagging along with you and does not want to pursue any other social plans without you, it is a huge sign that they are insecure.

 

2. Jealousy

Most often insecurity happens when one partner feels inferior to the other and believes that s/he might lose them.

Jealousy is a common reaction in such cases and a major indicator that your partner does not feel secure in the relationship.

 

3. Playing the victim card

During arguments or even in a conversation, an insecure partner tends to put the entire blame on you and plays the victim because s/he seeks attention.

This could be a natural trait or a personality s/he picked up on while growing up. Irrespective of what their reasons might be, this is not a healthy sign.

 

4. No personal space

Despite telling them that you require some time alone, if your partner does not give you any personal space, it clearly means that they want to constantly be around you and are afraid of losing you.

 

5. Cannot handle criticism

Insecure people tend to react loudly when criticised.

This could be constructive criticism or an opinion you are sharing.

If it is remotely about them, a massive fight is coming your way.

 

6. Snaps back often

Immaturity often tags along with an insecure person.

They don't seem to see the other perspective and only want everything to cater to them almost like being self-centred.

Arguing and snapping back is common in such cases.

 

7. Needs re-assurance

No matter how many times you try to tell them that you love them or that they are safe with you, your partner keeps needing reassurance on their status with you.

This can become extremely exhausting and even disrespectful for some.

 

8. Apologising for small things

Relationships often have arguments and misunderstandings but over-apologising and creating situations out of nothing can start to look extremely irritating.

You may notice that your partner is constantly looking to make sure they don’t hurt you in any way and instead end up making you feel even more conscious.

 

9. Comparing every move

In case both partners are at different stages of life, professionally, one may feel like they have to keep up and the exhaustion from this can lead to major insecurity and low self-esteem.

 

10. Overthinking

Constant overthinking about the same topic and making assumptions about how your partner is feeling or what you've said is everything an insecure person does.

In a situation like this, it often becomes difficult to help your partner out and win their confidence back.

For most individuals, this insecurity comes out of personal shortcomings and reflective exercise can immensely help overcome this.

What you can do is sit down with your partner and help them build their confidence and self esteem.

As soon as they start to appreciate themselves and be comfortable in their own skin, the relationship too will start to flourish.

However, if you do feel that the concerns are major and cannot be resolved by either of you, visiting a couple therapist would be a great idea.

Whenever you notice the initial signs that partner is feeling insecure, it is important to empathise and understand where they are coming from.

Relationships are built together with mutual trust and love. How both individuals willingly and maturely handle ups and downs really matters.

You need to know how to handle the situation calmly with firm communication.

At the same time, if things get worse, you must also know that one person alone cannot handle the baggage of the relationship. Ultimately, everyone deserves a secure, safe and loving relationship.

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SYBIL SHIDDELL