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Rediff.com  » Getahead » 7 Ways To RECOVER From A BREAKUP

7 Ways To RECOVER From A BREAKUP

By POOJA KHERA
April 12, 2022 09:54 IST
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Block your Ex from social media.
Disconnect completely and fully if you want to truly move on for a fresh start.
Remember, healing cannot happen from the same place the hurt came from, says relationship and wellness coach Pooja Khera.

Positive ways to deal with a break-up

Kindly note the image -- a scene from the film 96 -- has been posted only for representational purposes.

Let's face it, break ups are hard.

In fact breaking up is one of the most common traumatic experiences in our lives and yet so under-rated.

Although most people openly talk about broken relationships, people tend to minimise how deeply hurtful and damaging a break up can be.

In fact, break ups change everything you get so accustomed to.

There are so many unanswered questions, so much self-doubt that comes along that at one point you begin to wonder how will you even recover from the heart break.

Or Will you even ever recover from it?

The answer is YES. Your heart will heal and you will move on.

I would recommended you to follow these seven tips while you wait for the 'until it doesn't moment.'

1. Stop telling yourself it's your fault

The worst thing we tend to do after a break up is feel like it's all our fault.

While it's totally normal to want to know what really happened, it is absolutely counter-productive to entertain all the what-ifs. Instead of trying to rewrite the story in your head, focus on what you have learnt and how you can grow from the experience.

2. Take the time to accept and let it out

Grieving does not have a calendar, but even before you can grieve, you need to accept that the relationship is over.

Take all the time you need to grieve, take time off if needed but grieve.

Let it out even if it means you need to cry.

You don't have to have a 'prescribed way' to grieve; it's your emotion and you choose to process it your way. Yell, scream, cry or do whatever it is, but let it out.

3. Build a support system for yourself

Reach out to friends and family to share with them.

Talk to them about what and how you are feeling.

The important thing to remember is that your friends have their limits as well. So don't overburden them with your grief.

If you feel talking to them is not helping, speak to a relationship coach or a therapist.

An expert will not only be able to help you overcome, but they also will you to recognise your own behavioural patterns that need work so your future relationships can be happier and healthier.

4. Take up a hobby or passion

Relationships take majority of our time as we want to spend the maximum time together with our partners.

Add to it the demands of daily life, most of the times we give up our passions or hobby.

Pick that passion or hobby back up.

Did you always want to learn baking?

What about that dance class you could never go?

That foreign language you wanted to learn?

Or whatever else it maybe, start that again and give it the time and attention it needs.

Not only will it give you an increased sense of self-worth and accomplishment, it also releases Oxytocin -- the feel good hormone. Again remember, moderation is the key here.

5. Self-love is the best love

Break-ups are the right time to do all the self-care rituals you always wanted.

The things you earlier considered splurging, do them now.

Consider upgrading or changing your wardrobe, a change of hairstyle, getting yourself pampered at a spa -- anything that boosts your sense of yourself and gives you comfort and pride.

6. Open up to meet new people

A research suggests that it takes people three to six months to test dating waters again.

Don't indulge in casual sex or rebounds. It will only make you feel worse. Take it slow and steady.

7. Establish clear boundaries 

Getting in touch with the Ex, staying connected on social media or trying reconciliations which will only hurt you more is an absolute NO.

Block your Ex from social media. Disconnect completely and fully if you want to truly move on for a fresh start.

Remember, healing cannot happen from the same place the hurt came from.

Breakups can make you feel totally out of control and suck your mojo out.

While there is no fixed formula on healing from a break up, these steps will surely help you to feel more empowered and soothed. Remember, the clouds clear out even after the most devastating rainfall.

Give yourself the right attention, follow these tips and I'm confident you will be able to see more positive growth in your life.

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POOJA KHERA
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