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What real estate brokers say and what they mean :-)

By P V Subramanyam
Last updated on: October 15, 2014 13:10 IST
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Don't trust what your broker tells you about a house you want to buy!

I have been in the real estate market for the past five months trying to buy a house. Obviously unsuccessfully. However in this period I met about five brokers and they are all SIMILAR in what told me about a house, says P V Subramanyam.

If you have similar views and want to share them with other readers :-), Click HERE 

Mostly they take me to a fellow broker (funny?) who represents the seller.

Here are some of the things that they say... and what they actually mean according to me.

1. It is a very quiet location.

What I hear: Even at 6 pm you will not be able to get a autorickshaw or a taxi anywhere near!

2. Better to buy here without a bank loan.

What I hear: It is a 20-year-old building and the finance companies will not touch it.

3. It is a well managed society.

What I hear: They do not throw chairs at each other at the meeting, only blows are traded.

4. It has a sea view

A still from teh film Khosla Ka Ghosla

What I hear: Yes, if you have a three foot neck.

5. It has a covered garage.

What I see: Closed only at the top. All the sides are open.

6. The client just rejected an offer for Rs X

What I hear: We were not sure if the buyer had the ability to pay Rs X.

7. The client is not in a hurry to sell.

What I hear: the client has not been able to sell it for six months.

8. The client has reasonable expectation on the price.

My view: About 30 per cent over the last done deal.

9. This location is at a premium

What I hear: Look the house has to be redone completely. All we have is location.

10. You will have to spend some money on the interiors.

What I see/hear: The internals of the house are so damn bad that you will spend 30 per cent of the cost just to make it livable.

11. The client is going abroad next week, and needs to close asap.

What I hear: S/he needs the bloody cash, and you can squeeze for a 20 per cent discount even without asking!

12. It has excellent potential for a nice rental income

What I hear: If you are in your right mind, you will not live here.

13. The previous tenant left without completing the term.

What I hear: You want to sell because you cannot get a tenant!

14. We do not mind renting it out if we cannot sell it.

What I hear: Exactly why it has been on rent for the past five years?

15. The society may not allow your workers to work in the afternoon.

What I hear: Your workers will come at 11 am and have tea. At 1 pm the building manager will ask you to stop work till 4 pm.

At 6 pm your workers will leave. I dare you to get your work done.

Hope you enjoyed reading this article. If you have similar views and want to share them with other readers :-), Click HERE

Note: Image used only for representational purpose

Photograph: A still from the film Khosla Ka Ghosla

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