Krina Gindra tells you how to make you feel happy from within.
Alright, we need to talk about this.
You must have often been told 'Everyone is different, you are unique.'
But yet, ironically, we are always looking for another people’s validation and trying to 'fit in'.
Because man is a social animal.
When living in a society, in a small gathering, in a college or in almost every situation where you are with other people, you present yourselves as a certain version of yourself.
Depending on the vulnerability of other people, how safe space it is and how comfortable you are feeling in being your true self, that percentage of you exposing yourself and let everyone see who you are and not who they expect you to be, varies.
Concealing yourself in many ways is a positive and biological response, to keep one safe physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
But as we grow up and have tasted different experiences and surprisingly most of us have faced a lot of bad experiences like getting bullied, discrimination, physical/mental abuse, or betrayal, so concealing becomes a habit.
A habit well-practiced and nurtured becomes the ultimate nature of that individual.
Somewhere inside we know, that we are not being genuine, we are surrounded by fake people, things, and emotions and want to wrap us around those rare genuine elements of our lives.
As a result, what we face is:
FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)
If my friend is going trekking and if my other friend is in a relationship and I am not involved in any of these things, I feel anxiety running through my brain.
The pop culture is promoting everywhere, Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook posts are full of these anxiety bites.
Feeling like an option, not a choice
You lose that bond if you start feeling that you are replaceable and anyone is as important as you in a certain place/project/relationship.
Then you are not able to put your heart and soul into that.
Feel like you don't belong
'Everyone is a rose, but you are a Sunflower.'
Logically there shouldn't be anything wrong with that. But that sends a message that you are not meant to be here, you don't fit in.
All that eventually builds up a lot of personal insecurities and trust issues, our decision-making process always gets clouded by these experiences and we sometimes end up making the wrong decision.
You keep thinking how the last time you chose something other than this and it didn't turn out well.
Having a good reel, but not a good real life
People often disguise themselves in this make-believe reality of living an excellent, well-managed virtual life, that shows they are having fun.
To others, you may come across as happy and content BUT ironically in real life, you feel empty, lost and sad.
Once you have identified the issues and problems you can find out ways to address them one by one.
Here are some simple tips to get started.
1. Don't judge yourself
Stop being overcritical to yourself and overthinking.
Give yourself the scope to make mistakes and own them. But also to learn from them.
No one is perfect.
2. Be your own BFF
Listen to yourself. Do things that make you happy.
Eat that quesadilla that you always wanted.
Dance to the beat of your favourite song.
Maybe even adopt a dog.
Do what makes you feel happy from within.
3. Focus on the baby steps
It's a journey folks, it won't happen in a day, but it'll happen someday.
It's important to enjoy every part of the journey, without being too anxious about what will happen next or what it might lead to.
Let's not overwhelm ourselves with the outcome or the future. Enjoy the present and value what you're doing.
4. Cut out the people who make you feel less
We always have heard that you are what your friends are.
If you feel burdened by your current company of people, it's okay to take a break and discover yourself.
5. Celebrate your wins
Celebrate every little one. Like a lot.
You need to celebrate your tiniest achievements too. Because you did it, you overcame something, you should remember it.
6. Toot your own horn
Be your number one fan.
A lot of times many insecurities are self-developed, so we can fight our inner demons and end them too.
It's okay to talk about your happiness, dreams and successes. Don't wait for someone else to do it. It will make you feel good about yourselves.
7. Change your story
Change the narration that you have been telling yourself.
Make it more about your strengths and achievements, your goodwill and efforts rather than of failures, roadblocks, and weaknesses.
These little changes will help you identify your abilities, analyse your weaknesses, and eventually enable you to become a better person.
Remember, the key to a happy life is to live, laugh, and love!
Krina Grinda is the founder of Squadk.in, an influencer marketing agency that has worked with top brands like Nestle, Go Airlines, Reliance Jewels, Asian Paints to name a few.