Your thoughts on Aishwariya Rai?

She is pregnant right now so I wont say anything nasty, as her hormones are crazy. (Laughs)

In an earlier interview you said Aishwarya looks good but is a horrible actress?

But that's true. Just like the sky is blue. She looks beautiful but she is a horrible actress.

And what do you think about Abhishek Bachchan?

I know he is Aishwarya's husband and his father is a biggest star ever and I would even put him (Amitabh Bachchan) above Al Pacino and Robert De Niro as far as the star status is concerned. Wouldn't it suck to be his kid. You know how much pressure that is?

Your favourite Bollywood film?

I have never seen one. No, I saw Singh is Kinng until Akshay started dancing and singing on the first song in the movie and then I stopped watching it.

Describe the following personalities in one word?

Aamir Khan: Dk head

Shah Rukh Khan: Nice guy

Salman Khan: Don't know who he is

When did you realise that you were famous?

I think if you realise that you are famous then, my friend, the game is over for you.

What adjective would your best friend use to describe you?

They call meDk Head. (Laughs out loud).

What would you do if you get up in the morning and realise that you are a woman?

I would probably go and finger-b--g myself.

How do you like your coffee/women/men?

I am definitely not interested in men at any level. I like my coffee with cream and splendour and I like to make my women cream with splendour.

What is Speedy Singhs about?

Its about 90 minutes. (Laughs)

And?

You asked me what is Speedy Singhs all about and I told you its about 90 minutes. (Laughs again)

Are Speedy Singhs fast on ice or fast in bed?

They are probably fast in bed. I am not in the Speedy Singhs team. I am in Speedy Singhs movie where my character is an antagonist and is against the whole team.

How did you put on so much weight?

Where have I put on weight. Are you talking about my picture on the poster of Speedy Singhs. I shot for the movie 1 year back. I have a flat stomach. How are you skinny and fat? That's what I want to know

What makes Russell Peters laugh?

Real thing make me laugh. People falling down... etc (Laughs). Jokes don't me laugh.