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10 relationship red flags you should not ignore

July 16, 2014 19:14 IST

10 relationship red flags you should not ignore

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Avatar star Zoe Saldana recently advised her fans against settling with a person they aren't happy with.

But how do you know s/he is not the one?

Here are some pointers:

You cannot always spot the bad apple in the first instance but take off your rose-tinted glasses for a bit and look out for these 10 relationship red flags you can ignore at your own risk.

ALSO READ Zoe Saldana's relationship advice for her fans


Can you think of relationship red flags that you'd like to share with our readers?

Post them on ZaraBol -- #Relationship-red-flags -- and we will publish the most relevant responses right here on Rediff.com!


Image: Watch out for these relationship red flags. (Picture used here for representational purposes only.)
Photographs: Danish Siddiqui/Reuters

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1. They treat the servers shabbily

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How a person behaves on the first date can reveal a lot about their personality.

Watch how they treat the servers or the baristas at the coffee shop.

Do they disregard their presence? Worse do they treat them shabbily?

All of this reveals the kind of person you are about to get into a relationship with (or not).

If you've watched Lage Raho Munnabhai, you will most likely know if a person who cannot respect anyone beneath them, there's a good possibility they will not respect you.


Can you think of relationship red flags that you'd like to share with our readers?

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Image: The way your date treats this guy will reveal a lot about her/his personality. (Picture used here for representational purposes only.)
Photographs: Danish Siddiqui/Reuters

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2. They tip too much (or too little)

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Watch how they tip.

Is it too much (which indicates they love to show off whether or not they can afford it)?

Is it too little (erm... miserly)?

10 to 12 per cent of the bill is a fair amount to tip.

If it's a standalone joint, it is a nice gesture to tip more because employees aren't paid as much as in a star property.

Your first date is the best indicator of the kind of person you're seeing.

Keep your radar on high alert.

Don't be swayed by anything other than the way they behave with the people around them.


Can you think of relationship red flags that you'd like to share with our readers?

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Image: If that's your partner, erm... best of luck! (Picture used here for representational purposes only.)
Photographs: Bunga Mawar/Creative Commons
Tags: 1

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3. They only talk about themselves

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Your date may be hot or rich or smart or all of it rolled into one.

But if the only thing they have managed to talk about in the time that you've spent together is themselves, it should give you a good idea of what to expect from them if you take this forward.

Now, this might not occur to you right away (because you're smitten and all that) so think back later of all the things that the BOTH of you talked about.

How interested was s/he in what you had to say?

Did s/he hijack every conversation you were trying to make?

If the answers to the two questions were "Not a lot" and "Yes" it means s/he is just not into you!

Save yourself some time and get the hell out!

Also, if your guy walks in wearing a body-hugging t-shirt on your first date, no matter how chiselled his physique may be, get the hell out or be prepared to listen to his workout regimen for the rest of your life!


Can you think of relationship red flags that you'd like to share with our readers?

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Image: Is this their reaction when you'r saying something important? (Picture used here for representational purposes only.)
Photographs: Ella/Creative Commons
Tags: BOTH , ZaraBol

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4. All their exes are jerks

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Talking about an ex is a big no-no on the first date.

So there is a good possibility you won't get to hear about it on the first meeting.

But be assured that eventually the topic will come up.

What someone says about their ex reveals a lot about their character.

Not all exes can be jerks.

Your partner cannot have been the aggrieved party in every single relationship that went wrong.

Anyone who looks for sympathy from you all the time is not the person for you.

Watch what you're getting into because before long you will be on that list too.


Can you think of relationship red flags that you'd like to share with our readers?

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Image: Not everyone can be a jerk. (Picture used here for representational purposes only.)
Photographs: Le TchEtche/Creative Commons
Tags: 1

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5. Your friends don't like them and vice versa

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There is a reason why introducing your partner to your friends is an important step in a relationship.

They know you well and there is a good chance they know you better than you.

If your friends haven't warmed up to your partner even after multiple meetings, take that as a sign.

Have an honest heart-to-heart with both the parties -- your friends and your partner to understand what may be going wrong.

If the problem persists, be prepared to take a side.


Can you think of relationship red flags that you'd like to share with our readers?

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Image: If this is the reaction of your friends to your partner... you better watch it. (Picture used here for representational purposes only.)
Photographs: Daniel Weber/Creative Commons
Tags: 1

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6. You cannot stand her friends and vice versa

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If you think your partner's friends are flaky/snobbish/basically jerks (and/or if they have a similar opinion about you) there is a good possibility your relationship isn't going to go too far.

Try to get to know them better, see if you can find a common ground.

If not, be prepared.


Can you think of relationship red flags that you'd like to share with our readers?

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Image: Their friends' reaction on seeing you? Watch out! (Picture used here for representational purposes only.)
Photographs: Lauren/Creative Commons
Tags: ZaraBol

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7. They don't introduce you to the family

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Introducing someone to the family is the next big step after introducing them to your friends.

If your partner is putting away your meeting with their parents, it is possibly for a reason.

Understand their concerns. If the meeting doesn't still happen, take the hint.


Can you think of relationship red flags that you'd like to share with our readers?

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Image: Have you met his family yet? Yes? Yay! No? Erm... ok! (Picture used here for representational purposes only.)
Photographs: Shami Chatterjee/Creative Commons
Tags: 1

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8. Everything is someone else's fault

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Lost their phone?

Lost their wallet?

Got pulled up for something at work?

Reprimanded by their family?

Ditched by their friends?

Lost their job?

None of them was their fault?

Sounds familiar?

That is one large red flag flying right before your face!

Yes, terrible things happen to people. But surely, not all of them can be because it was someone else's fault!

It won't be long before the cause of all the terrible things going on in their life will be you.

We have three words for you: Get. Out. Now!


Can you think of relationship red flags that you'd like to share with our readers?

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Image: Is everything someone else's fault? (Picture used here for representational purposes only.)
Photographs: Le Jhe/Creative Commons
Tags: 1

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9. They cannot hold a job for too long

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Admittedly, job-hopping isn't looked down upon as it used to be, let's say, ten years ago.

Even so, if your partner has changed more jobs than the number of years s/he has been working, you might have a problem.

A job is much like a relationship -- it all begins hunky dory but eventually needs considerable amount of work.

Do not disregard the fact that your partner may not have found her/his true calling but remember that sticking to a job also requires the same attribute that is needed in a relationship -- commitment.


Can you think of relationship red flags that you'd like to share with our readers?

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Image: Job hunting again? (Picture used here for representational purposes only.)
Photographs: Aly Song/Reuters
Tags: ZaraBol

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10. You are happy when you are away from them!

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You know that sinking feeling which pulls you down no matter how happy you may have been feeling a second ago?

If the cause of that feeling is your partner on more than a few occasions, it is the absolute final red flag that you cannot afford to ignore.

If you find yourself being happier when you're away from your partner, this is a red flag you cannot ignore.

You need to work on it ASAP or let go because your partner is supposed to be the reason you are happy.

So whatever the overt signs may suggest, your instinct is your best friend.

It is never wrong. Trust it. At all times.


Have we missed something?

Can you think of relationship red flags that you'd like to share with our readers?

Post them on Zara Bol -- #Relationship-red-flags -- and we will publish the most relevant responses right here on Rediff.com!


Image: Ask yourself if you are sadder when you are with them or when you're away from them. (Picture used here for representational purposes only.)
Photographs: Skedonk/Creative Commons
Tags: ASAP

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