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Rediff.com  » Getahead » Should you date your high school sweetheart?

Should you date your high school sweetheart?

March 09, 2016 15:33 IST
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Being in a relationship with your high school sweetheart comes with its share of issues. Are you ready to take them on?

Photograph: Valeria Schettino/Creative Commons

We all know that relationships very rarely last, especially if they start in high school. That is the truth which is what makes the concept of high school sweethearts so enticing and rare.

Let me be honest, I actually went around for a couple days in search of someone who could tell me how they managed their relationship with their high school sweethearts, and yes, I was genuinely surprised at the response I got.

High school sweethearts are practically unheard of today.

Practicality of the situation

Let's be a little pessimistic for a second and acknowledge the issues, or some of them to say the least.

Often these relationships tend to not work out for the most obvious reasons.

People in high school tend to move apart, face struggles with distance considering they move off to universities which are possibly in different states or countries; they tend to meet new people which gives rise to jealousy, insecurities, and so on so forth. 

Of course, people also argue that distance should never be the reason for a relationship to end, but that is where practicality comes in.

Practically, we all tend to need the physical presence of our loved ones; we want the affection, and the interaction.

What happens is that people grow apart for this simple and basic reason, change in life visions and personal goals.

People, naturally as they grow older, tend to start looking at things in a long term perspective, matching everything up to their life and where they ultimately want to see themselves and hence this very directly relates to where they want to see their respective partners.

Today we tend to look for immediate gratification and it seems we have also succumbed to short term visions.

Put that negative aspect aside

Occasionally, this works out. It can be said that today's generation is highly unlikely to see themselves in these situations as frequently as maybe their parents' or grandparents' generations, but it still isn't impossible, I guess.

Ending up with your high school sweetheart might actually be one of the best decisions you could end up making.

Think about it, you both have obviously spent your essential years with one another, you mature together, and in this process you probably happen to mould yourselves to one another, so there is a comfort level.

You naturally happen to know more about each other than anyone else, you probably have a lot of mutual friends, and an abundance of memories to share with one another.

The fact that you are labelled as 'high school sweethearts' means that you probably overcame the biggest struggle of any relationship, distance, and yes you obviously understood that people can change, but you accepted it with grace. 

You hardly have to spend time any more understanding each other's likes and dislikes and you already know the small things about each other that either set both of you off or console you.

You both have one goal, to stay focused on where you want to be and making sure a part of that is being together.

How plausible is it?

Given that we live in today, it is important to know what this generation thinks of high school sweethearts because at the end of the day it is these people who would one day maybe end up so themselves. Who better to ask than college students, right?

Crystal Gandhi (sophomore, Long Island University- CW Post)

"There aren't many couples who can make it through high school and college, coming out the other end still going strong and wanting to spend the rest of their lives together.

"You tend to change so much during high school and college because you are trying to find yourself and who you are. This can be hard when you are with someone who wants things to stay the same.

"I think only strong couples who are willing to go through the arguments and hurt that causes change and are also able to fight through that to reach the other side make it. You don't really hear a lot of people making it, but when you do, you feel instantly motivated only because you know how hard it can get.

"High school sweethearts are what people see as goals today; the type of goals that are hard to achieve.

"My best friend and her boyfriend have been dating since tenth grade; they hardly fight, and have mature ways of handling their arguments.

"The problem they are currently facing is the distance between them. They both are studying and working, this makes it hard for them but whenever they do find time they dedicate it to one another and that is where it all starts."

Victoria Boccella (freshman, Long Island University- CW Post)

"I think high school sweethearts have a negative stigma attached to them.

"People always like to say that they won't last or that it's so rare that they actually happen.

"I think the whole idea of them is cute. If you can find someone at a young age to love for that long, it's actually pretty amazing in my opinion.

"Why wouldn't you want to spend as much time as you can with the person you love?"

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