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Rediff.com  » Getahead » 'I caught him talking to his ex'

'I caught him talking to his ex'

December 19, 2015 12:50 IST
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"Sometimes men resort to cover up when they feel they are too much under scrutiny, so are you sure you are not overdoing the questioning/doubting part?"

"When a woman is interested in a man, unless he is a duffer he will be in no doubt about it"

Rediff.com's Love Guru has answers to all your relationship problems.

In a weekly chat with readers every Thursday, Rediff's Love Guru addresses their relationship problems and offers solutions.

For those who missed the chat on December 17, 2015 here's the transcript!


Piyush: I'm in love and I want to marry her but in family no one knows about this. I don't even want to tell them. I want that we have to flee away and get married. Can u help me

Love Guru: Piyush, it's all right for you to love her and wanting to marry her but does she want to marry you?

If she does, too, why not involve families in the whole process, what do you have against that? Why flee?

And how exactly do you want me to help you flee and get married -- by booking your tickets, etc?

There are service providers for all that, I am afraid


suvarna harini: Namaste I am an hindu in my life I am not able to find a good partner i got divorced, my only problem is whom I met they expect me to spend money on them in turn till today i didn't expect any thing from them what may be my fault i want to know.

Love Guru: Suvarna Harini, it's hard for me to say why you've been unable to find a good partner, maybe you should ask the women on who you say you spent good money as what was it about you they didn't like.

Who knows, they may tell you, and if you feel what they has merit, then you can try changing yourself.


Aanchal Lohariwal: Actually I wanna say that I m in a big confusion. I caught him while talking with other girls and she was his ex gf. And he didn’t say me anything about her.

Now he is saying that she is just his friend. What can I do?? 

Love Guru: Aanchal Lohariwal, looks like you landed yourself a glib talker.

But sometimes men resort to cover up when they feel they are too much under scrutiny, so are you sure you are not overdoing the questioning/doubting part?

Just asking. Also, why make such a big issue out of talking to other girls, unless you know for sure it's flirtatious and not just friendly talk?


Rishabh Gupta: My age is 24 and my girlfriend is on running 18 and I always ask her for sex but she always says that she is no desire of sex yet as she is younger in age and give her time till she could also enjoy and start having desire for it.

Pls tell me whatever she is saying is true or not if it's true then to what extent it could be true comparison to all other girls...pls guide me what should I do ?

Love Guru: Rishabh Gupta, regardless of whether she is being truthful or not, regardless of whether you want it or not, always, always, always respect a girl's no.

A girl's no is not a maybe. A girl's no is not a not-now. A girl's no means no.

So, when she is telling you no, respect it and her for being honest with you. Who knows, whenever she knows your respect her decision, her no may turn into a yes


Rajesh Mehta: Hi Sir, I am a married person age 42 yrs.

I have a relationship with another lady also. We love each orther from the last 5 years. Now we can't live without each other. tell me some suggestion about our relation

Love Guru: Rajesh Mehta, so you are married. So you cannot live without another woman. So what do you *want* to do?

There are many options. You can continue the present arrangement, of enjoying the best of two worlds. Or, you can leave her, but you said you cannot live without her.

Or, you can divorce your wife (which will cost money and time) and marry her. Which of these works for you? Your decision


RAJEEV: hi LG..I am a 21 yr boy... i like a girl very much from my school times.

We talk very often in school. But after school i tried to talk to her but she dint replied.

I express my feelings on FB, wish her birthday, with her on valentine day on FB but she dint replied. I like her very much.. plz help me in this regard.

Love Guru: Rajeev, these things happen. Obviously, she doesn't see you as a friend beyond school, for whatever reason.

Now why she doesn't, only she can tell, but since she has made it very clear by rebuffing you online, she doesn't want to know you any more.

What went wrong? Maybe you can ask common friends from school to who she may have confided about it, but any which way, it's best you leave her alone


rajiv pratp: I had earlier discussion on my issue, suppose if a lady share each and everything to you even her internal as well as external problem weather emotional gynece or any kind and if she feel comfortable around you, feel safe even left her ex , should I consider this as her sign of love?

Love Guru: Rajiv Pratp, what lies in a lady's mind, only the lady would know. But tell me, apart from talking on intimate stuff, has she sent out any signals that she is interested?

Because, I believe when a woman is interested in a man, unless he is a duffer he will be in no doubt about it.


aryan: I met someone 8 years ago, we haven't been in touch with her since last 3 years I tried to move but can not, I just want to know if she is okay with her life.

Love Guru:Aryan, this almost sounds like the plot for an SRK film!

You say you haven't been in touch for the last 3 years, yet you are unable to move on?

So what were you doing these 3 days, pining away your life?

There's a saying in English about letting sleeping dogs lie, and it applies to past relationships too. You are happy and comfortable in your life, why do you want to look at what may have been?


Illustration: Uttam Ghosh/Rediff.com

Advice from the Love Guru does not reflect the opinions of Rediff.com and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.

(Due to circumstances beyond our control, date and time of chat may change)

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