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Rediff.com  » Getahead » 8 things you must not give up for a romantic relationship

8 things you must not give up for a romantic relationship

Last updated on: October 16, 2014 18:19 IST

A romantic relationship often takes precedence over every other relationship in one's life.

And while it is wonderful to be swept off your feet, don't go overboard trying to please your partner.

Here's a list of things you absolutely must not give up for a romantic relationship!

Got a list of your own too? Share it here -- #NeverGiveUp -- and tell our young readers what is it they should not give up for a relationship.


1. Your friendships and existing relationships

The first casualties of a romantic relationship are your friends.

They're the first to be forgotten, the first to be dumped, the first of the many whose calls aren't taken... you get the drift don't you?

While it is understandable, do remember that these people -- your friends, your parents etc -- have been part of your life for way longer than your partner.

Don't let her/him be responsible for driving you away from the people who've mattered the most to you.

2. Your self respect

It is easy to be drawn in by your significant other and doing things you would not do otherwise -- whether it is behaving in a certain way you would not otherwise behave or accept being treated in a manner you wouldn't otherwise be treated.

Apart from the fact that it is a perfect sign the relationship isn't good for you, there really isn't any reason to expect to be treated with respect.

However close you may be, there are certain lines that cannot be crossed. Being treated shabbily is one of those lines.

3. Your financial independence

Your partner may be a millionaire and can possibly buy you anything you want but giving up your financial independence is the first step to losing your self respect.

Also do you really want to be the person who has to ask their partner for every single thing? That bag, that vacation, those shoes?

Would you not be happier buying those on your own?

4. Your aspirations

It is one thing giving up your job for your partner; it is another thing altogether giving up your dreams and hopes.

A relationship cannot be the thing that ties you down; it should be something that brings out the best in you.

A good relationship encourages you to realise your dreams, seek what you've always wanted to seek.

If it isn't doing that for you, there's a good chance the relationship isn't for you.

5. Your happiness

Being with your significant other must make you happy; you ought to look forward to being with them at the end of a long, tiring, futile day.

They ought to be the silver lining to the dark cloud and not the dark cloud.

If the idea of meeting your partner drains the last bit of happiness from inside of you, take that as a sign. No one, literally no one, should make you feel unhappy.

6. The right to decide

Whether you want to bear a child or want to adopt... or not want one at all;

Whether you are happy being fat or are uncomfortable wearing certain clothes;

Or quite simply whether or not you want to go to a place that is making you uncomfortable...

These are your decisions and your partner must respect those.

Never give up the right to decide for yourself to please your partner (or anyone else really)

7. Your space and your time

However close you may be to a person, remember you will need your space and your me-time.

Whether it is that daily workout or an hour to read or just those few minutes of quiet as you sip your morning tea in peace.

Do not let your partner encroach upon that time and those spaces; they are important to your relationship too.

8. Your identity

It isn't unusual to take on your partner's interests and habits, especially in a new relationship, so as to be able to bond with them better.

And while there is nothing wrong in exploring newer things with them -- yes they do help you be in tune with your partner -- do not allow yourself to morph into that person.

Retain your identity; do not forget who you are... because that is the person they fell in love with.

Got a list of your own too? Share it here -- #NeverGiveUp -- and tell our young readers what is it they should not give up for a relationship.

Photograph: Lian Chang/Creative Commons