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Rediff.com  » Getahead » Husbands, it is normal to sleep in separate beds!

Husbands, it is normal to sleep in separate beds!

October 12, 2017 12:32 IST

It's unconventional but it also gives both partners space, discovered this writer.

woman in bed

Photograph used for representational purpose only. Kind courtesy: Stock Snap/Pixabay.com

When my baby was born two years ago, he was an exceptionally colicky baby and had a difficult time falling asleep.

We would spend nights just trying to somehow put him to sleep so that we could catch some sleep ourselves.

While I was a stay-at-home-mum, I understand things used to get really rough for my husband as his work involved an early morning shift.

After it was months that I saw him going groggy eyed to work I suggested that he should start using the guest bedroom so that he is not disturbed by our son's constant erratic sleep schedule.

Slowly, my son's sleep routine began getting better, but by then we had become used to the ideas of sleeping in separate beds.

We continued the new routine

Now I must make it clear that by sleeping in different rooms it's not that my husband has stopped getting intimate.

Once in a while when we do, we sneak into my husband's bed and then well we are back to our beds to sleep.

It's unconventional, but the reason it is working for us is that it gives both of us our space and routine.

My son and I sleep till late, while my husband is up early to go to work.

Since we are in separate rooms, no one gets disturbed.

My friends think I am crazy

When I shared this with my friends they announced that I am inviting the end of my romantic life.

I don't want it to take a toll on our relationship but for now, it seems to be working fine for us.

I agree that things like cuddling, hugging etc are important in a marriage too, but honestly half drained with the baby all I care about is a good night's sleep in a big bed without another adult to hog any space.

This has continued for about two years now and maybe it has become a habit we do not want to break.

But sometimes I do wonder if I am being foolish?

Am I getting my husband accustomed to the idea of needing my company only when he wants to have sex?

I must admit that even though I have once or twice broached the topic of maybe sleeping together my husband has just smiled and said that I should be happy that my sleep doesn't get disturbed.

Recently I also read that even though it seems odd in an Indian set up, a lot of couples in the West are going this way.

For some the reasons are that they want their space, others are simply too exhausted to sleep together... just like us.

I would though, however, use this forum to ask for a perspective from other new parents on how do they cope up and what they think of this arrangement?

The writer chose to be anonymous.

Sleeping woman

Tags: West