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Rediff.com  » Getahead » What You Must Know About Sex

What You Must Know About Sex

By RAVI MITTAL
May 10, 2023 13:15 IST
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If one partner has to coax the other into having sex, it's neither the right time nor the right move, alerts Ravi Mittal, CEO, Quack Quack, an online dating app.

Kindly note the image -- a scene from the film Gehraiyaan -- has been posted only for representational purposes.

For the younger generation to understand the right time to make a move or whether or not to make it at all, open discussions are the only way.

Dating app QuackQuack's Founder and CEO Ravi Mittal, says, "Our survey findings show that commitment, the right kind and for the right reasons, is a critical factor in intimacy, with more than 32% of people from metros and smaller cities stressing the importance of it."

Here are some ideas from QuackQuack on when to make a move:

1. Comfort

It's essential that two people are comfortable in being sexually involved with each other, whether it's a long-term relationship or a new one.

During one of QuackQuack's recent surveys, 19% of women commented on the importance comfort plays in making a significant decision as having sex.

It is best to ask first instead of assuming. Once that is cleared out and both partners in a relationship seem ready to take it to the next level, it might be the right time to make a move.

2. Never Manipulate

No means no. Read that again.

In relationships, people are high on emotions, and saying no to sexual advances might be difficult, especially for young daters.

The fear of being dumped or hurting their partner's ego might make some people push themselves into doing things they are not ready for.

It's important to be very careful while making sexual advances, making it clear that it's absolutely okay to say no.

If one partner has to coax the other into having sex, it's neither the right time nor the right move.

3. Commitment

While commitment has nothing to do with sex, in a relationship it is quite different. Commitment is everything.

Couples who are still figuring out their level of commitment in the relationship will do so better without the intricacy and intimacy of sex clouding their judgments.

It would not be the right time to move to a more intimate relationship.

Couples who are already sincerely committed stand in a better position to take it up a notch, given how secure they are together.

In relationships, commitment is one of the primary factors to look into before getting under the sheets.

4. Communication

It's the only way for couples to understand how ready they are to take the next move.

21% of QuackQuack users under 25 say talking to your partner about sex might just be the best move.

Such talk offer a lot of clarifications on how both partners conceive sex, whether there is a chance of regret after, or any core beliefs that might have a negative impact after.

Once there's clarity on these and everything seems ideal, it might be the right time to make a move.

5. Establish Consent

One partner feeling ready to take the next step does not necessarily mean that the other feels the same way.

Whether it's a new relationship or has been going on for a while, establishing consent is a critical step while making a move.

Direct questions like, "Are you ready to have sex?" might do the trick.

It will convey the independent verbal and physical confirmation that is so important to have before having sex for the first time with someone.

6. Read The Room

Before putting forward the idea of taking it under the sheets, 17% of QuackQuack users voted reading the partner's body language as the best way to make the right move.

Read the room: Was there a slightly heated argument right before?

Is either one of the partners seem distracted by a work thing?

Is the person preoccupied with something else?

All of these things can help determine the right time.

If the mood has been particularly romantic one fine evening, the setting perfect, everything seems to almost fall into place, go ahead, make your move.

But even with the most ideal conditions to take the next step, don't assume.

Consent is mandatory, regardless of everything.

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RAVI MITTAL