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What Teachers Don't Want From You

September 05, 2023 12:31 IST
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Let teachers tell you what they'd like as a Teachers Day gift.

Teachers Day

Illustration: Dominic Xavier/



Handmade cards.

That's what we gift our teachers every Teachers Day.

This year, we thought we'd ask the teachers themselves what they would like. And they shared a few lines that they hope they may not hear again (though they are confident they will):

'I was absent tomorrow because I had fever'

'Unpredictable as weather,
They are flighty as a feather,
They are darlings, they are demons, they are lambs...

This song from The Sound Of Music aptly describes students.

Every day with them springs new surprises and the journey takes you to unexpected destinations. Children are the best judges and they know how to take a teacher down the right path!

But the amalgamation of Hindi and English -- now known as Hinglish -- has become their common lingo and the literal translations that occur can be very amusing.

"I was absent tomorrow because I had fever."

"Please close the fan and lights."

"Miss, he is telling my lies name."

"Sir, I beat him because he was going on my father and mother."

Dear children, while life without you and your antics is unimaginable, it would be nice not to hear these lines again.

Graham Heiden
Principal, Christ Church School, Byculla, Mumbai.


'Sir, I thought it was a half day today'

The teacher-student relationship is a sweet 'n' sour one.

They drive us up the wall with their antics and excuses, but we love them all the same.

In my 33 years as a teacher, here are some of the excuses

we hear ever so often.

'Ma'am, I brought yesterday's time-table.

'Sir, I thought it was a half day today.'

'It was he who started the fight.'

'I completed my assignment, but I forgot to carry the book.'

'The back of his head is in front of mine so I can't see the board.'

'I missed the school bus and my dad woke up late.'

'Sir, yesterday you passed away from my lane.'

'I could not get a leave note as my parents are absent from home.'

Jacinta Fernandes, Christ Church School, Mumbai.


'The fish will die of blood pressure'

Students can sometimes come up with responses that leave a teacher at a loss for words -- remember the infamous 'The dog ate my homework?'.

Tell me, don't they leave you dumbfounded as well?

1. While going out for games, the teacher asked the class if they had closed the classroom's door. A student answered, "Yes, teacher. I closed the doors of the windows."

2. Once, during a science lesson, the teacher asked what would happen if a freshwater fish was left in the sea?

A student replied, "The fish would die of blood pressure."

3. A teacher asked a student to meet her after class.

The student replied, "Yes, teacher. I will meet you at the backside of the class when your empty." He meant he would meet her at the back of the classroom when she was free.

Lorraine Edwards
IGCSE Co-ordinator for the junior school, Christ Church School, Mumbai.



A Teacher's Dilemma

Why did I choose this profession?
At that time it seemed so cool
Now it's the cause of all my tension
I feel cheated, I'm a big fool.

Yes, there are some days
When I feel this way
Yet I love my kids
That's all I can say.

When Yesterday is Tomorrow
And Tomorrow is Today
Yes, they say what they feel
You cannot change them, come what may.

I didn't did that
He's the one to blame
Should I correct his grammar?
Or try the wild to tame?

His book is lost
Or he forgot it at home
He bunks class
In the corridor to roam.

There's no breeze in the ball
My circle's not straight
On the way I fall down
That's why I am late.

Do they say what they mean?
Or do they mean what they say?
At the end of it all
You're sure to have a highly hectic day.

Yet, I'm proud to be a teacher. I love my job. You see innocence, love and affection. These are the gifts that children give you for free every day.

Lovie Fernandes
Coordinator, Classes 7 and 8, Christ Church School, Mumbai.

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