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Rediff.com  » Getahead » Dear men, this advice will come handy during a fight

Dear men, this advice will come handy during a fight

July 28, 2017 08:52 IST

These simple do's and don'ts will go a long way in reducing conflicts.

gigi hadid

The sign of a healthy relationship isn't the absence of conflicts (yes, you heard it right).

But the proper resolution of the conflicts that may crop up.

When you are sharing your life with someone or are planning to, many conflicts are bound to erupt.

That happens simply due to the fact that the two of you are different people, had different life experiences and happened to converge on the same path.

Conflicts not only give you a bad mood, but couples who fight regularly or have problems tend to also suffer more from resultant problems such as depression and heart problems, among others.

Presenting some methods to minimise conflicts and have a healthy relationship.

1. Don't cuss or indulge in name calling

When you are having a fight or a heated argument with anyone, cussing or name calling will only result in the other person getting further hurt.

It will push the level of anger up and any chance of calming down or resolving the problem goes away.

The same goes with name calling as it may incite similar feelings.

Moreover, name calling and cussing will take the focus away from the content of the discussion, resulting in the other person only hearing and remembering the harsh words.

Hence, choose your words with caution because they can be dangerous things after all.

2. Be specific when pointing out problems, but do not generalise

When you try and discuss something with your partner, don't generalise their behavior.

Just point out the specific instances which may have caused friction.

Generalisation will result in your partner feeling unappreciated and may result in further friction.

3. Put emphasis even during arguments that you care about a person

Don't make a relationship about vengeance or settling scores.

Instead when you sit down to have a chat or are even in the middle of a fairly heated argument, remind the other person that you care about them.

This way, the person will try to put their back into finding a solution to ensure a healthy relationship as well.

4. Avoid yelling or grueling out loud as much as possible

Loudness only results in a war of who can go higher up in volume to drown out the other.

It is very important to ensure that your partner calms down if they are the one shouting and only then bring up the topics of conflict with each other.

You should also maintain a grip on yourself and not scream or yell.

5. Be open to your partner's suggestions

You may be sure that you didn't make any mistakes, but be open enough to the idea that your partner may have a valid point.

Take a look at what you said or your actions objectively to see how much of the fault was actually yours and how much of it was perceived by your partner.

6. Try and find out what is the best possible solution for the problems rather than who was correct  

This is possibly the biggest step any couple can take to resolve problem within the relationship.

When you have similar problems cropping up multiple times, then try and find a solution which suits both of you the best rather than stating who was right or who was wrong.

This will help you prevent conflicts regarding the same matter in the future and make both of you objective to other conflicts that may crop up later.

 Lead image: Kind courtesy Gigi Hadid/Instagram