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5 lies that could break your marriage

By Prutha Soman
Last updated on: February 20, 2018 14:31 IST
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When you feel out of love, seeking a new relationship is not the answer.

Arbaaz Khan and Malaika Arora

Nope, we aren't talking about catching your partner’s lies in marriage.

We're talking about the lies you tell yourself that could herald the end of your marriage -- if you start believing them, that is.

Let's find out what these are, so we can avoid making these mistakes for the sake of marriage.

Lie #1: I have married the wrong person

That's the biggest of all lies in marriage!

No, you haven’t married the wrong person, but you are simply going through a tough phase in your married life.

Instead of trying to fix each other, it may be a better idea to focus on yourself.

Improving yourself is the best way to deal with this.

The solution

Start seeing what’s right for you in your partner, instead of everything that's wrong.

Maybe they know how to make that perfect coffee for you to shoo away the day’s fatigue. Or all along they have encouraged you to achieve what you’ve wanted.

Don’t overlook the qualities that make them the right person for you.

Lie #2: I don’t love my partner anymore

Feeling like you don’t love your partner is quite common, and, it is a myth.

When you feel out of love, seeking a new relationship is not the answer.

Instead of running into a new relationship to find the missing love and passion, working on the existing relationship may be a better idea.

The solution

Make time for each other.

Spend lots of alone time with each other.

Relive your romance and rediscover your passion for one another.

Find out if you can engage in any activities together, or just go out for a romantic date more often!

Lie #3: My marriage is beyond repair

If you have the right intention, everything can be repaired.

Of course, there are exceptions; sometimes, it’s just not safe to stay in a marriage. But otherwise, you can always make an effort.

Find help if you are clueless about where and how to start.

The solution

Confide in your family members or common friends about the problems you may be facing.

You can also go to a marriage counsellor.

The best thing you could do is have a heart-to-heart chat with your partner and explain your concerns to them.

Lie #4: It is all my partner’s fault

Remember that no one wants to take the blame. And blaming your partner for a failing relationship may only drive them away.

Experts also consider this as a type of emotional abuse.

With constant condemnation, your partner may develop guilt and poor self-esteem.

The solution

Does that mean you don’t express yourself? Not at all.

Just word your feelings carefully. For example, instead of saying, "You never keep your promises," it may be better to say, "I feel sad when you are unable to keep your promises."

Lie #5: My partner does not make me happy

First, it’s important for you to understand that it is not your partner’s responsibility to make you happy.

Being happy is our duty towards ourselves.

So, instead of blaming your partner for making you unhappy, remember what makes you happy and indulge in those activities.

The solution

If certain habits of your partner make it difficult for you to live with them, talk about it.

Explain to them that both of you have to co-exist in your house.

Show them that you are willing to do your share to maintain a happy atmosphere at home. It’s rare that your partner will refuse to do their bit.

Look at the bright side of your marriage and work on lightening the dark spots.

Lies in marriage that you tell yourself are bound to disappear with the sunshine of love, understanding and compassion. 

Lead image -- Arbaaz Khan and Malaika Arora at a promotional event -- used for representational purposes only.

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Prutha Soman