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Who's the third person in a relationship?

By Shreya Shah
March 15, 2015 15:00 IST
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The third person in your relationship is often a crazy, raging monster, popularly known as premenstrual syndrome.

Who's the third person in a relationship?

Premenstrual syndrome is commonly known as PMS, and even more commonly referred to as ‘that time of the month’ with an obligatory roll of the eyes or a long-suffering sigh, sometimes both.

If girls think that guys aren’t sensitive enough to their predicament, guys take ten steps back and claim that most girls use this condition as an excuse for murder.

Well, let’s get some of the myths busted and help banish the relationship destroyer. Because jokes apart, behaviour during this period (no pun intended!) is rapidly becoming a make or break factor in today’s relationships.

What is PMS?

Boys, please listen carefully!

It’s not easy for girls to deal with stomach cramps, loss of a lot of blood (I know, gross, but it's important to say this!) and stomach pain a few days a month. And that’s just the actual time.

The PMS period is a whole different gamut of pain -- bloating, mood swings, headaches, backaches, leg aches, and a whole list of craziness that sets in a week before!

How is this fair? It's not! So boys, be nice to the ladies.

The Other Side

Girls, this is definitely not an excuse for biting your guy’s head off!

Cribbing and complaining about how unfair the world is or how your guy really should know that a Nutella sandwich is the best definition of lunch or how your wardrobe has conspired to make you feel your fattest best or the fact that he never listens to your problems or a snide observation that a kick (in his, ah, privates?) will never compare to the agony of PMS?

Let’s face it! No matter how much of a gem of a person he is, he really isn’t going to understand what his lady is going through.

Another thing -- it's not his fault, so stop giving him so much grief about it!

It’s not easy dealing with a swirling cocktail of hormones in your body, which makes thinking straight difficult.

Still, if it’s not easy for you -- how will it be easy for your partner to deal with a problem he can't even begin to understand?

Here are some easy bits of advice for partners to keep the boat of love steady.

1. Whisper the three magic words and they are: ‘I am wrong’.

Essentially this means, you must agree with her on everything.

No, it doesn’t mean you’re helpless. But, if there’s a legit argument where you feel you're definitely right, mumble a vague ‘fine, maybe, okay’.

Keep track of it and approach her five days later when you have a chance to talk to a much calmer version of her.

2. Slip her some chocolate periodically.

Stop laughing and/or shaking your head.

Cliched as it may sound, chocolate releases loving sensations into her body and she’s going to feel that much more loving towards you!

Win-win, right? Exactly!

3. Stop raising your eyebrows when she devours an entire pizza, garlic bread, two glasses of cola, a large box of fries and still has place for that double cream tiramisu.

At all costs, avoid offering her an anti-indigestion tablet. Let the binge phase pass quietly, and be ready for some tearful exclamations at how you let her get fat in a day.

4. She is going to be bloated, okay?

It’s to do with water retention, not buying two sizes too small of clothes.

If she wants to wear that little black dress, which for some strange reason, doesn't make her look size zero, then tactfully drop in a hint about how she looks so gorgeous in casual jeans and a top.

5. Unexplained bouts of anger or crying?

Do not, under any circumstances, ask her with condescension if her irrationality has been brought about by hormones.

If she feels like crying because the day has just been too hot, then lower the AC temperature.

If she gets angry at you for not having surprised her on your anniversary of holding hands for the first time, (even if you guys haven't celebrated it for the past four years), give her a giant hug and distract her!

Next, go to your secret stash of gifts (you do have that, right?), pluck one out and offer her one with your best apologetic-yet-winsome-smile looks.

But, let me make one point clear.

Do not, under any circumstances, become her puppet.

Do not dance to her tunes, or agree with bowed head to her every irrational command.

Be as loving as possible, but do put down your foot at letting her boss you around for tiny things.

We may be emotional fools right now, but there is a perfectly inexplicable reason behind all of it and we already respect you for being an amazing guy!

If you become overly nice then that surprises us too, because we aren't really expecting you to suddenly become a doormat!

So don't leave your identity behind while trying to keep us happy, but do try to go out of your way to make us happy because it will be much appreciated!

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Shreya Shah