Kishore Singh's encounters with post 8/11 India.
Illustration: Uttam Ghosh/Rediff.com
Sarla: "I have no money, what am I going to do?"
Car parking attendant: "Sahib, change."
Wife to me: "I need you to go deposit some cash in the bank."
Son: "Dad, I'm taking your new currency notes."
Cook: "Madam, you can give me my advance salary for one year in old notes."
Daughter: "Mom, I'm taking your credit card."
Gardener: "The neighbours gave me Rs 2 lakh to deposit in my account. Do you think I should give it back?"
Newspaper delivery boy: "What, you don't have Paytm yet?"
Tailor: "No new currency, no new clothes!"
Bank teller: "Sorry sir, we're out of cash."
Sarla: "Okay, I have some money, I sold a house, will you deposit some cash for me in your account?"
Hotel concierge: "I know you don't have money now, but remember to tip me for two trips the next time."
Son: "Dad, I need your debit card."
Group of diners at a restaurant: "Here are nine cards for you to split the bill equally among us."
Daughter: "Mom, I've taken the new currency you were hiding in your wardrobe."
Wife: "You can't do that, I stole it from your father."
Driver: "Sir, can you transfer my extra duty allowance to my account?"
Parents: "Son, we need you to courier us some cash."
Courier agent: "Sir, you need to pay in cash."
Bank relationship manager: "Sorry sir, we're out of cash."
Sarla: "I found some more currency I was saving for a house I wanted to buy, will you deposit it for me?"
Sabziwallah: "Strictly no credit, no change."
Wife: "If you don't give me some legal money, how am I going to run this house?"
Note on invitation card of friend's daughter's wedding: 'Guests can give their shagun through debit card machines at the entrance of the venue.'
Son: "Dad, you can pay my credit card bill, I'm out of currency."
Daughter: "I'm out of currency too, please transfer some to my account."
Wife: "Everybody's husbands are pampering them with new currency notes, but all I have to spend is from a credit card."
Schoolkid: "Uncle, I'll stand in the ATM queue for you, but you'll have to pay me half the money."
Bank manager: "Sorry sir, we're out of cash."
Sarla: "I can give you money, but it isn't mine so you'll have to return it with interest."
HR manager: "We're delaying salaries because you can't draw it from the bank anyway."
Wife: "Of course I have cash, I got it from the bank, but I don't want to spend it on stupid things like household expenses."
Son: "Dad, can you pay my boss' credit card bill? He says there's no money in the system."
Daughter's friend: "Uncle, your daughter needs money so she can take us out for a treat."
Daughter: "Dad, give me some money so my friends don't think you're a skinflint."
Grocery shop owner: "Please get your KYC documents to avail of credit."
Bank division manager: "Sorry sir, we're out of cash."
Sarla: "When did I say I don't have money? I just don't have money to spend."
Sign above pharmacy cashier: "Our medicines don't work on credit."
Son: "Dad, I thought I could count on you for a little something like money."
Wife: "I can give you Rs 2,000 if you return Rs 1,900 in change."
Bellboy: "Sir, I have change, in case you want to break Rs 2,000 for a tip."
Bank regional manager: "Sorry sir, we're out of cash."