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August 31, 2004 13:11 IST
No more procrastination! I shook off my morning stupor and decided I would begin jogging today.
It was tougher than I thought. To motivate my flagging muscles, I copied my fellow joggers and tried hard to look nonchalant as I wheezed along.
Later, as I was headed home, I saw a fellow health enthusiast bending low near a parked car, doing what I thought were some radical new exercises. Maybe they would give me the toned abs I was dying for.
I copied what he was doing and felt new muscles stretching. This was great! My circulation was bound to improve and my profile would acquire the taut silhouette I desired.
I wanted to thank my benefactor. As I blurted my appreciation for the free health tip, he looked at me confused.
He had been searching for his car keys all along!
Somaditya Roy, New Delhi
Lost in translation
It was my first assignment in the US. My project manager was Scottish and, for the life of me, I couldn't understand a word he said.
One day, he wanted to communicate something urgently. As usual, I could not understand what he was saying.
Realising the problem, a colleague came to my rescue.
Since I didn't know Hindi either, he began translating the message into plain Indian-English. Suddenly, our project manager interrupted, "Hey, you are translating in the same language!"
Raghavendra Udupa, Tokyo
Waah! I want to marry...
I come from a rural area in Andhra Pradesh where child marriages were a common event.
One day, my grandmother wanted to take my cousin and me for a wedding. I was five years old and my cousin, four, and married.
I began crying and got into a huge fight with my grandmother -- I didn't want her to take my cousin because she was already married; I wanted to get married this time.
My parents and grandparents could not stop laughing. It was a while before they could convince me we were just going to attend a wedding and there was no way I was going to get married that day.
Malla Reddy, Germany
My sweetheart and I were on a short-term on site assignment in Schaumburg, a small city near Chicago. We made the most of this freedom and explored every nook and corner of the city.
Unfortunately, this also gave her the opportunity to lecture me on "maturity, responsibility, tidiness and the thousands of other things I lack."
After one such dose, I guided her towards a nearby Starbucks Café -- a tall Mocha never fails to lighten her mood.
I locked my car and held the keys in my right hand, along with some old receipts and plastic wrappers I wanted to discard. Spotting a bin outside Starbucks, I junked all the things in my right hand. Including my keys.
Then, in front of a crowded, bemused Starbucks, I had no choice but to hunt for my keys in the bin!
I thought my beloved was going to kill me. I could actually imagine the scenario for the rest of the evening. Thankfully, the Mocha worked its magic.
She continues, however, to use the memory to shut me up when I talk too much.
Guruprasad Kulkarni, Schaumburg, Illinois
Illustrations: Uttam Ghosh