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Mobile madness

It's a real headache when your colleague forgets his cell phone on the desk. Sometimes though, it can lead to hilarious consequences. Take, for example, what happened the other day.

Our internal auditor wanted to discuss some points in the audit report with a senior colleague, who was not at his workstation. He dialled the colleague's cell phone number and, while he was waiting for a response, he heard another cell phone ring.

Voicing the crib that was in everyone's thoughts -- "Pata nahin log apna mobile kyon chod jate hain [I can't understand why people leave their cell phones behind]!" -- he  picked up the errant phone and took the call. No one answered. "Yaar," he said really irritated, "udhar woh phone uta nahin raha aur yahan koi jawaab nahin de raha [No one is picking the phone there and no one is answering it here]."

When he returned to the landline, he was even more angry; someone had answered his call but refused to say a word.

That's when it hit me – the errant phone belonged to our senior colleague!

Amit Chawla, Moscow

'Where are you going?'

One of our friends, who is studying in the States, returned to India for a brief spell. We decided to meet at our favourite college hangout.

We were waiting for him there when a man approached us. After explaining it was a routine police check, he asked us who we were and what we were doing. He cited security reasons and warned us against loitering there.

Another man standing outside stared at us. We were pretty scared by this tough attitude and decided to leave. Just as we were rushing towards my car, the second man patted my back and asked, "Where are you going?"

The voice sounded familiar. We turned around. Our US-based friend was standing there, looking hugely pleased with the result of his prank...

Kapil Parab, Mumbai

Net mania

I was not really Net-savvy until my husband left for the US. It was only then that I began going to a cyber café every other day to write him long e-mails -- a painful ordeal considering the speed at which I typed. Soon, though, I was hooked by this fun way of keeping in touch. My surprised friends, who were scattered all over India, began getting regular e-mails from me.

When I joined my husband in Portland, I was horrified to discover there were no cyber cafés. Now all I could do was send e-mails through hubby.

I was ecstatic when we moved to Chicago because hubby was given an IBM ThinkPad. He used to leave it at home, so I could have long sessions on the Net. My joy knew no bounds. Very soon, I progressed beyond e-mails. Everyday, I would have long chats with my friends and family.

I was devastated the day hubby had to take the laptop to work! He called up at regular intervals to see how I was doing and even promised to treat me to dinner at my favourite Japanese restaurant, but nothing could cheer me up. I was feeling as blue as I did the day I learnt he had to leave for Bangalore for a whole week just one month after our marriage.

Sarani Tarafder, Kolkata

Dumped!

The courtship was brief; it lasted barely 45 days and then I was dumped. It took days for the fact to sink in. Even now, I can barely manage a watery smile.

We first met at the vet's. I was waiting for my turn with my nine-year-old German shepherd. In walked this plump man with a cute pug, like the one in the Hutch ad. What really drew me to him was the way he talked continuously to his dog. Our eyes met and we realised we knew each other. We started taking. I prayed my turn to see the doctor would never come.

We met again in the evening to take our dogs for a walk. Again, we had so much to talk about --
gossip, common friends, the coming election, death, life, religion…

He had come to Ahmedabad for some work and stayed on for a week. After he returned home, we kept in touch through SMS, phone calls and the Net. It was as though I was spending every moment of my life with him. He returned after a fortnight and we spent a blissful week together.

I cried bitterly when he left. He promised to return after a month. We were back to our SMS-phone-chat mode. Then, slowly, his SMSes dwindled. He never logged on to MSN Messenger.

I got the message. I was no longer the flavour of his life. He had moved to greener pastures, to women who could hold his attention for more than 45 days. He gave no reason for his behaviour. I was too proud to ask.

Am I heartbroken? I don't know. But the world does not seem like a happy place to be in.

Anu Chopraa, Ahmedabad

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Illustrations: Uttam Ghosh



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