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'I suspect my wife is having an affair'

Last updated on: June 05, 2014 10:00 IST

'I suspect my wife is having an affair'

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Love Guru answered these relationship queries in an online chat with Get Ahead readers today.

Here is the chat transcript:

Arindam Sardar

She in a way used to do a lot for me and may have gone through a lot of hardship because of me.

But both of us wanted to be together.

It has been almost two years since we called off the relation.

We occasionally talk in messages and without any feeling.

I still love her.

She says does not want to go in any sort of relation.

What should I do? Kindly suggest.

Love Guru

Arindam Sardar, are you in the same town?

Is it so difficult to meet for a coffee?

Try doing that, and see how things go from there


Ravindra Parasnis

She has started her relationship back with her uncle.

They now do it both ways to her full satisfaction but orgasm comes only through the anal intercourse.

She is not happy with her affair and knows that this just can't go on.

Her conscience is troubling her.

She needs some expert advice.

Can you give some that I can convey to her? Thank You.

Love Guru

Ravindra Parasnis, a counsellor seeking advice is a first for LG, thank you.

But I have some queries.

If she has been in a relationship with the uncle since long, and marriage with uncle is allowed in many Indian communities, why didn't they get married, as they seem to be soul mates?

She needs to take a call on who she wants to be with.

Maybe you can help her in seeing the full picture


Nitin Joshi

I think my wife has an extra-marital affair with her colleague.

She often chats with him... even in the night.

She said they were only friends but I have my doubts.

How to tackle this situation?

I am upset!

Kindly advise!

Love Guru

Nitin Joshi, what technology has done is break down walls of communication.

Before talking about your wife, let's talk about you.

Are you a possessive husband?

Do you have lady friends?

Do you chat with them?

From home, too?

If you do, would you get angry if your wife does the same?

Likely she is being truthful, that they are only friends.

Can the issue be your perception, not the facts?


Amit Srivastav

My mother doesn't interfere in our lives.

She is, in my opinion, not overbearing but my wife is insisting that we move out.

I don't want to drive a wedge in my family but I also love my wife. What do I do?

Love Guru

Amit Srivastav, ah, the troubles of joint living!

Why doesn't life imitate Rajshri's films, did you ever wonder, where the entire clan is one happy unit, singing and dancing for ever?

Alas, life is a bit different. Joint families have their pluses, and their minuses. If your wife insists you move out, she must have good reasons. But I understand your dilemma. Perhaps you can move somewhere nearby?


Venkatesh

What is the legal age to have sex?

I am 19 and My girlfriend is 13.

Will there be problems if we go ahead to have sex?

Love Guru

Venkatesh, YES. Under the law, sex with a minor, even if consensual, is rape.

So desist.

That means, don't go ahead, you could land in serious trouble


Amol Dhurve

I am addicted to porn. What do i get rid of this stuff as I cannot concentrate on my studies nor ask someone for help as they would laugh on my addiction.

Love Guru

Amol Dhurve, addiction to porn starts with having plenty of spare time.

So you can start off by keeping yourself busy with the things you really want to do


Satish Pulli

My wife and I were having a lot of sex.

Now suddenly it has stopped. What do I do to win her back?

Love Guru

Satish Pulli, rather than ask me, don't you think you should be asking her this question?

There are many possibilities why she is behaving the way she is, but the best way to know for sure is to ask her.

What are you scared of?


Sumeet Salgaonkar

She wants to have sex with me but I don't. How to resolve this problem without hurting her?

Love Guru

Sumeet Salgaonkar, if only every male thought like you…

Well, see where your resolve has landed you.

If you insist, you will be perceived either as someone uninterested in your girlfriend, or as a person with different orientation possibly.

How do you extricate yourself from this situation?

With a lot of tact, communication. But something tells me it is going to be difficult


Vinay Shukla

My uncle says he is gay and he has deserted his wife. This has caused a lot of tension in the family. What could I do? Please advise!

Love Guru

Vinay Shukla, really, what can you do! It is your uncle's family.

I suppose you can help by not being too judgemental about people's sexual orientation.

I suppose you can help by offering sage counsel to the distraught family.

I suppose you can help by not joining in the demonisation of your uncle that may be going on.


Also read:

'My wife looks at other men. What do I do?'

'Why are girls on matrimony sites so money-minded?'

She is losing interest in sex. How do I rekindle her interest?

'I introduced my friend and he proposed to her!'

Got questions for the Love Guru? Post them here! Love Guru will reply to them every Thursday at 3 pm.

Advice from the Love Guru does not reflect the opinions of rediff.com and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.

(Due to circumstances beyond our control, date and time of chat may change)

Illustration: Uttam Ghosh/Rediff.com



Tags: Love Guru