'Please help me. I want to save my marriage!'
Is your love life under pressure? Are you troubled by your relationship? Get Ahead's Love Guru hosted a chat with readers on June 26 to help them deal with love problems.
For those of you who missed it, here's the transcript.
sachin kulkarni: love dude,how do you convince a completely brainwashed and fanatic wife who left me and joined the other folk who is in her same field when I was out country?
Love Guru: Sachin Kulkarni, tough job, I admit. But why would you want to convince a completely brainwashed and fanatic wife who has left you?
rehan raza: Sir, i was friend with girl,she was in relationship with someone else,but they broke up,now that girl wants me as her bf,should I accept her,can I trust with her feelings
Love Guru: Rehan Raza, "can I trust with her feelings"... So much emotion is contained in these few words! Can you? I don't know. Should you? I don't know? But I do know that you won't know unless you venture out. Keep an open mind, and see where it goes, instead of tying yourself in knots over what may be, etc
Deepalikumari: Hi Love Guru. There is guy in my office to whom I love very much. I have expressed my feelings and he says he need some time thing about it. He was in a relationship but due to some reason he brokup. My question is its been 5 months and i am still waiting for his reply. What should i do in this situation I am curious. Should i give more ttime to him??
Love Guru: Deepalikumari, seems to me that you are going to have a long wait, if five months is not enough for him to get over the breakup. We all have different mourning patterns, probably he takes longer. But the question is, how long is a long wait for you?
PSV SHARMA: i am Sharma staying at Bangalore. I am in close contact with a Principal in Kerala. Daily we exchange erotic msgs. Should we continue? or abstain ? guru pl advise
Love Guru: PSV Sharma, these erotic messages, are they affecting your life or the other person's, in any way? You know what I mean, right? If it doesn't, then the decision of what to do next is yours to take, as consenting adults
Seema Dutt: I've been dating this guy for 7 months now.I'm 30 and he's 42. He said "i love you" when we were making love last week. Do you think he means this? we've only been casually dating so far..i.e..we never talked abt. exclusivity and only hang out once a week or less. On the other hand he introduced me as "a very good friend" at an industry party
Love Guru: Seema Dutt, 30 you are you said? Hmmm.. Old enough to know that "love" has many connotations, each one different, depending on the situation at hand. What you describe seems to me like "heat of the moment" sentiment, men are usually prone to it more than we realise. But obviously it has touched you somewhere, else you won't be writing in, right? Proceed with caution is what we'd say
Ashutosh-Upadhyay: sirmain ek ladki ko bhut pyar karta hu bt wo na bolti Hai mujhe kuch aisa bataye jis se wo ha bol de......
Love Guru: Ashutosh-Upadhyay, sorry, there's no magic wand for what you seek
murtaza kalim: helo sir, I am 23 year old, I love a girl who leave far away from me. she had never saw me, but I want to marry with her. how do I approach to her and express my feelings ?
Love Guru: Murtaza Kalim, you want to marry a girl who has never seen you? Is that right?
Gajanan Bose: I have recently send somebody on a (FaceBook) that I love her. About 4 days afterwards she give me a handwritten letter in person (we go to the same college) acknowledging the letter, yet saying she are uninterested in me and said that she was okay with being friends.Should I go up to her and say that I'm okay with just being friends or being friends would hurt me?
Love Guru: Gajanan Bose, frankly, that depends on how mature you are
subbu sir: my wife lives me to the hilt ,i too but i fail in expressing it and sometime by loosing my cool to the core ..tell me LG how to keep my cool and temperment at the right slotsubbu
Love Guru: Subbu sir, you need professional help with your temper, simple
vinayak: I am recently married ,but my wife has past.She had affair with some one.She told all to me,but i cant accept her.Please give me solution.How can save my marriage?
Love Guru: Vinayak, I presume you were a vestal virgin till your marriage? Why are you so het up over her past? Has she told you she is stuck on him? Does she behave like she's still involved with him, or that she's unable to get over him? If she hasn't, my advice is to let the past be, focus on the present and the future
Sunil Ahsen: There is this charming young girl that am in with, i told her my fillings 4 her but she seems sturbon. She says she loves me but she is not prepared 4 any relationship. Am crazy 4 her and i cant wait 2 have her. Please help me with ur reliable solutions.
Love Guru: Sunil Ahsen, love with relationship or love without relationship, that's the question, right? I must confess, I have no idea how you can "have" her without her consent, so maybe you can start by working harder on winning her consent
Jaykar Kajale: My GF who i was with 2 years and live in two different countries, i just found out that she was cheating on me for a month with his new flat mate. i mean to go and see her next month , we had planes and i love her so much and i want her back, what should i do to get him back?
Love Guru: Jaykar Kajale, for starters it would help if you clarify if you want to get him or her back, as you've mentioned both. Assuming it to be her, I don't think she's broken up with you, but you may be in for a surprise nevertheless when you visit her. Keep us posted, will you?
tushar: Okay, so I have some really strong feelings for this girl who is my close friends ex. I know it's really awful, but he broke up with her & I had feelings for her . He says that it is definitely over but I know if anything ever happened he would hate me. I don't think it's best for me to do anything but we are good friends and I always catch her staring at me as well.
Love Guru: Tushar, question number 1: Has your best friend moved on, as in is he involved with another girl? If yes, it's fine for you to get close his ex.I know, I know, men live and die by some rules, and not coveting your friend's girl is on of them. So the decision is really yours. Maybe you should discuss it over liquids with your best friend
Photographs: Illustration by Uttam Ghosh/Rediff.com