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Do you feel like crying for no reason?
Do you want to be alone and go sob-sob-sob all day?
Has life suddenly become one long, boring, lonely journey?
If your answer was yes to all of the above, you are showing typical signs of a break-up. Fret not. You can come out of it -- if you want to, that is.
Break-ups usually happen when:
The third scenario is the most preferred. However, it is never really that simple. Most break-ups fall in the first two categories. And when it's that way there is a lot of pain, may be for both partners.
There are many who are scared of break-ups while there are others who are practically pros. Nevertheless, both groups find it difficult to deal with certain realities. But there are ways.
Twenty-five-year-old Sunita Raj says that the best way to get over a break-up is to sob it out. "It normally lasts for a month. After that it life eventually settles. That one month is full of pain. You are so used to that person that you need that time to start afresh."
Wolverine*, who says he has had eight break-ups so far feels that he has mastered the technique of nursing a broken heart. With a great deal of enthusiasm too.
"The worst of the Post Break-up Syndrome (PBS) is the real time a** kicker, aka heart break. One, the world crashes down on you. Two, all your dreams are shattered. Three, you feel you have lost a lot more than just a partner. The best thing to do is convince yourself that it was the "right" decision and the scope to lead your life as a learned person with all the experience you have gained from the relationship."
He usually hits the gym when he goes through a break-up. "I hit the gym with a vengeance, a vengeance to get into better shape and a hope to be seen by your ex when you are with some more sensual hottie," he opines.
Samuel Lal, a marketing executive from Bangalore, says, "I would go out of town if something like that had to happen to me. Just go away by yourself for a few days. Visit new places, meet different people and analyse why it happened. It gives you time to think through the episode and get back ready to start again."
So, if you have made up your mind to really getting over "it", here are some tips that you could follow:
~ First thing in the morning, look into the mirror and force yourself to smile. A bright smile can self-start your low engines.
~ Confide in someone who is close to you, someone with a lot of patience. Resolve the heartache and prepare yourself for a brighter future.
~ Make a list of things that you love doing. Plan your days such that you do one thing on the list every day for a week. Then, the next week create another list.
~ Cook your favourite food. Says Wolverine, "If cooking is your passion, like it is for me, follow it. A guy cooking good food got me tonnes of admirers from the opposite sex. Girls would go "aww" as soon as they heard. Get your friends over, cook good food, listen to great music and convince yourself that all that happened is for the best.
~ Meet up with your friends. There is no better antidote that good time spent with friends and there are no side effects either. "The best stress busters are your friends. Don't be hassled when they tease you a bit when you approach them after a break-up. They have the right to do it, since they were neglected when you were busy wooing your mate. They offer wonderful digressions," he adds.
~ Avoid places and activities that you performed with your beloved, at least for the first few months. As the healing sets in the memories will be less hurtful.
~ Take up a new hobby. It could a dance class or a cricket club. Meeting new and different people can refresh your pained mind.
~ Have some fun. It could be watching movies, going to the mall, going window shopping, visiting amusements parks, or visiting your favourite ice-cream parlour.
~ Do all the things you couldn't do when you were going around. Things like running errands for your mom. Doing some tasks for your little brother or sister.
~ Groom yourself. Don't let the spider webs get to you. Dress sharp, going to the gym, visiting a spa and eat the right food.
These are some tried and tested methods that have worked well for different people. The key, however, is to want to be happy and retain your enthusiasm. Once it is clear in your mind, the way ahead gets simpler.
*Name changed to protect privacy
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