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Worried your child will fail?

Aaruna Jain | March 11, 2005

The reasons for failure in an examination are many. 

Your child could be weak in a particular subject. Sometimes, even if s/he has studied hard, the exam may prove harder than they anticipated.

Sometimes, they get so nervous that they forget everything they have learnt on the day of the exam.

imageBy pressuring your child to perform, you will only aggravate his/ her stress levels.

Incidents in the past have lead many a pressured child to take drastic steps. That is why parents must be mature and learn how to take disappointing results or failure in their stride.

Start preparing your child mentally

~ Reassure your child you still care for him/ her and you will continue caring even if s/he fails and how precious s/he is to you.

~ If you think your child will not fare well, start hinting to your relatives and friends so they are prepared, too.

~ Be ready with alternate measures in the future so that you do not waste time after the results are out.

~ Search for careers and courses that will be within his/ her reach in case the failure is repetitive. 


If failure comes as a surprise

~ Do not let him/ her face his/ her peers, teachers or friends alone. Be with your child. Stand by your child.

~ Avoid condemning your child. You may vent your feelings in strong words immediately, but recover quickly from the shock and take corrective steps to motivate him/ her to get on with life.

~ Show him positive alternatives. Again, be with your child, physically as well as mentally.

How to avoid failure in future

~ Accept your child's limitations, academic and otherwise.

~ Measure the extent of the limitations yourself or with the help of professionals and help him/ her set realistic goals.

~ Ask for professional advice if necessary and follow it up religiously.

~ Do not punish your child for his/ her limitations. He is not responsible alone. You are involved, too.

~ Help organise your child's study materials, managing his/ her time, seeking the right guidance. Be there.

~ Take care of his/ her health. Provide a good diet, rest and recreation. Sticking to books only will not serve any purpose.

~ Try to keep stress to at a minimum by creating a good atmosphere for studies. 

Take concrete steps so for your child's future

~ Study your child's strength in a particular skill or a talent. Help him/ her develop it seriously.

~ Invest in training those skills in case academics are not your child's strong point.

~ Realise the power of positive thinking. Practise it. It takes a lot of effort to think positively.

~ Deal with your spouse with maturity. Remember, a positive relationship with your spouse also helps make your child feel secure.

~ Inculcate an element of meditation and spirituality in your child. Its long term effect is magical. It changes your child's outlook to measure real success in life.

Aaruna Jain, has 22 years of experience in the field of counselling and an MA in Family and Child Welfare from the Tata Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Mumbai. She currently consults as a counsellor with Indian School, Muscat.

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