The Worst Hindi Movies of 2010
It wasn't all hunky-dory, of course. Almost all the anticipated biggies that were slated to shine faltered and delivered a varying degree of disappointment.
Of all the rotten apples that came out on Fridays, these 10 appalled me the most. Harbor a difference of opinion? Zap the message board.
Now they're dying. Now they're not. What's the idea behind two broke, suicidal types taking a road trip to Las Vegas and where not to live a little before they die for good?
Unless Siddharth Anand's lavishly staged but bizarre premise for a rom-com featured its leads -- Ranbir Kapoor and Priyanka Chopra as a pair of terminally-ill/about to enter life sentence characters, the existing idea is simply too ridiculous and bird-brained to endorse.
And Ms Chopra's ceaseless ooh-aahing doesn't help. Seriously, where does she get that accent from?
Read the review of Anjaana Anjaani
Image: The Anjaana Anjaani trailer
Eeeks. Eeeps. Yikes. Think these are better-suited alternative titles for Hisss starring Mallika Sherawat as a snake woman. Like every other movie of this genre, the plot is, more or less, the same retribution following the slaying of one's mate by an immortality-striving wizard/villain.
Nothing, however, can prepare you for the grotesqueness of it all. That horrific image of sexy Mallika looking severe in the icky skin of a chubby python or making out explicitly with another slithery being is best forgotten. Done.
Read the review of Hisss
Image: The Hisss trailer
Soundarya Bhagyalakshmi Venkateshwari Basappa Rao. Hilarious, huh? What can you say about a movie that relies on its heroine's name to induce a laugh?
Sajid Khan's Housefull is so unbelievably absurd; it pokes into every nook and corner of its idiotic screenplay to coin a distasteful joke involving couch tigers to African babies.
You laugh. Not out of amusement but because you feel sorry for the guy. Speaking of pity, why do you do this yourself Akshay? Why, why, why? Don't even get me started on the others.
Read the review of Housefull
Image: The Housefull trailer
Salman Khan can make even the most implausible look fun. But his Veer is so uncompromisingly silly and archaic it brings back the yawn-inducing memories of Yuvvraaj and Sooryavanshi. The Anil Sharma directed costume drama reeks with confusion and lack of details.
But that's the least of its troubles. If only Sallu's armor-clad warriorgiri and the ensuing Pindari clan inanity wasn't so hell bent on being taken seriously whilst sparing us the awkward Mithun Chakravarthy-Neena Gupta romance, Veer could be a lesser embarrassment.
Read the review of Veer
Image: The Veer trailer
The Film Emotional Atyachaar
I was lucky enough to steer clear from Anees Bazmee's No Problem, which I am told would be a frontrunner on this list had I seen it. Too bad, I wasn't so fortunate when it came to skipping The Film Emotional Atyachaar.
Man, how intently this movie strives to live up to its title. A bad film in the garb of an indie, Emotional Atyachaar is a compulsively morbid, one-dimensional, incoherent, badly-acted, a botched-up attempt at noir.
Read the review of The Film Emotional Atyachaar
Image: The Film Emotional Atyachaar trailer
I had the good sense of tagging my cousin along to watch Sadiyaan in an empty movie hall of North Delhi. Clearly, misery and massively boring melodramas (such as this) love company.
My feelings about Sadiyaan can be summed up in these lines from my review, 'Even the stupidest of movies have turned out to be watchable and, on some rare occasions, even entertaining owing to an actor's conviction and presence that makes the incredulous look credible.
This one, however, rests on the shoulder of a bland newcomer, namely Shatrughan Sinha's son Luv. The scrawny star kid lacks the charisma and punch that helped his father, despite his unconventional looks; wipe out all prejudices to be widely acknowledged as a leading man of substance.'
If I have to pick one then, sorry boss, but I am going with Sonakshi.
Read the review of Sadiyaan
Image: The Sadiyaan song
Tees Maar Khan
I've expressed enough disappointment already.
Let me repeat myself. Despite an unusual premise to adapt, namely Vittorio De Sica's After the Fox, the normally intuitive Farah Khan fails to capture the comical spirit of the original, no thanks to its poorly-penned script by husband Shishir Kunder and his brother, Ashmit.
While the promotions rode high on the capabilities of the splendidly picturized Sheila Ki Jawani and its A-list leads (Akshay, Katrina Kaif), TMK fails to impress owing to the conspicuous absence of spiffy humour and spunky performances.
Image: The Tees Maar Khan trailer
Once upon a time Shahid Kapoor and Kareena Kapoor used to be a couple. To spend time together, they hastily signed up too many films. One of them happens to be Satish Kaushik's Milenge Milenge.
The much-delayed romance, also a terrible rip-off of Hollywood's Serendipity, is hardly a fond reminder of that 'us' time. Instead you have the now-sleek actors at their gawky best in gaudy attire and garish hairstyles mouthing redundant dialogues that transport you into the era of Rajendra Kumar but not in a good way.
Read the review of Milenge Milenge
Image: The Milenge Milenge trailer
Vivek Oberoi trying to pass off as a Jason Bourne types? Oh please! Stealing plot points and action scenes from every conceivable Hollywood blockbuster or force-feeding glamour by way of three ready-to-strip starlets, Prince is so desperate to project 'cool', it's laughable.
What this tripe really is wannabe, so darn wannabe, no matter what they call it -- Prince, Pickle or Pajama.
Read the review of Prince
Image: The Prince trailer
We are Family
Chris Columbus' Stepmom floats in sentimentality. Its official remake is drowned in it.
On paper, nothing could be more ideal. Producer Karan Johar roping in Kajol and Kareena Kapoor, two of our best actresses, to slip into the shoes of Susan Sarandon and Julia Roberts to convey the tug of emotions between a mother and mother-in-making.
Instead, the already soppy script is burdened with a bunch of silly changes that butcher Kareena's character into a glorified governess and reduce Arjun Rampal to an unshaven prop.
Even Kajol cannot rise above the sham. With zero vulnerability and an excessively manipulative background score, We Are Family develops into a patchy portrait you don't want to give a second look forget care for.
Read the review of We are Family
Image: The We are Family trailer