We're Indian and proud of it.

But let's face it, when we're travelling abroad, our desi ways can, well, come across as a bit -- er -- unusual.

Before you get all defensive about the issue, though and start blustering about how 'whities' don't bathe every day in the winter, take a look at what we're talking about.

(Disclaimer: This is a satire feature. Viewers are advised to take the content with sufficient quantities of salt. Pictures are used here for representational purposes only.)

So let's see then:

You know you're an Indian travelling abroad when...

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And your ENTIRE extended family has come to see you off at the airport!

Every two hours of course to overcome your fear of air travel!

Who else will protect you in this godforsaken cabin of death?

Even though said journey is by airplane halfway across the world and you'll be served food onboard.

Then again, there's nothing quite like ghar ka khaana (or peena) is there?

You will most likely be the only one who leans down to pick up a non-stick kadai or pressure cooker off the conveyor belt at baggage claim.

Because how else do you expect to cook while travelling?

Also... jo biwi se kare pyaar... you get the drift, right?

Because duh! What better (and cheaper) gift for your firang relatives in whose homes you will be piling on, right?

Because... well... free gifts for your relatives back home!

Because you travelled Air India that was six hours behind scheduled time... predictably. 

At e.v.e.r.y single airport.

For trying to bargain down the standard fare, standing on his shoulder so you can look through the sunroof -- and then fail to tip him.

Because er... how else do you wash up after doing your thing?

You don't know what jaywalking is, do you?

You also carry green chillies in your purse because, well, Western food is just so bland.

Because you can't fathom paying Rs 2,000 for a sandwich or Rs 5,000 for parking... or... ahem... any other services for that matter!

Haven't they heard of Aquaguard?!?

You laugh at Japanese tourists for their snap-happy ways, clicking every conceivable photograph.

Then they laugh at you when you take out your camera.

Despite all the smells and grime, you realise there is nothing quite like home!