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'I feel proud that my dad's last rites were done by my sister'

By Suchandra Deb Roy
June 13, 2016 15:20 IST
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We'd asked you, dear readers, to tell us about your father's best advice to you.

"My father was very proud of his three daughters and liked bragging about all our little achievements.

"One of the things he often told while dropping us to the school bus was show the world you are better than sons.

"I feel proud that his last rites were done by my sister and we did not rely on any 'male' relative. "

Suchandra Deb Roy (extreme right, below, with her parents and two sisters) writes about her father Nirmalendu Kumar Deb Roy.

Suchendra Debroy with his family

Parents teach many things to their children, some in clear words and some through their actions.

My father passed away a few years ago, but few of the things that I learnt from him is helping me survive in today's world.

1. Never borrow money from people

My father never appreciated us borrowing or lending money.

According to him, money transactions among relations ended the relation.

He always told us to 'spend according to what you earn'.

Do not look around your peers and crave for their lifestyles, analyse your needs and then buy things.

2. No matter how much you earn, always save some

He opened savings accounts for us when we were kids and all the money we got as gifts on special occasions went there.

We were made to fill bank forms as kids to get a feel of how things worked.

When I was staying in a hostel, away from home, I realised how important it was as many of my friends struggled in filling simple forms.

3. Never brood over failure and start working towards the next step

I was upset when I could not clear the medical entrance exams and more so when I saw him angry at my being upset.

I now realise how correct he was.

Time waits for none -- either you feel sad and cry over failure or analyse it and move ahead.

3. Give precedence to facts and logic

My father was a religious person but could never accept religious beliefs without questioning and as I am growing older, I am also leaning towards his approach.

I also wish people around me would not get carried away by religious gurus and start to question (beliefs) a little.

4. Treat a person as you would like to be treated 

He taught us never to judge a person by his position, salary, caste or religion.

He was a Civil Engineer in CPWD but was friends with people from all walks of life -- carpenters, plumbers, autowallahs, politicians.

Speak with a smile, treat everyone well and if not all some will surely be there during your distress.

5. A daughter is as good as a son 

My father was very proud of his three daughters and liked bragging about all our little achievements.

One of the things he often told while dropping us to the school bus was show the world you are better than sons.

I feel proud that his last rites were done by my sister and we did not rely on any 'male' relative.

As I start jotting down my father's advises, I realised that there are innumerable ones.

He has through his advises, his way of living, taught us to fight adversities. I think that is how, even though he is not there to protect or fight for us, we have been able to deal with some of the very difficult times we faced after his death.

Baba, THANK YOU, for teaching us how to live, overcome adversities and survive in this world.

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Father is not my superhero. Or Mr Perfect... 

Dad's advice: 'Failure is not bigger than you'

Dad's advice: Happiness lies within

Dad's advice: Let go, be happy

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