Love Guru says, Hi there, folks! Welcome to the Love Guru chat! Let's get started.

mamta asked, 27 yr old girl ,2 failed living in relationship,3 abortions,now my parents looking for a guy for me ,as i am living another city alone they don,t know anything about my life,but now am always living under dipression, guilt feeling ,don,t want to marry .am unable to forget mistakes am make in my life.i even take the help of healrer but that didn,t work.can you give any solution so i live a peaceful life.

Love Guru answers, Mamta, I know that at this point in your life the future may seem bleak, but you need to let go of your past. Failed relationships are not the be-all and end-all of life and everyone has a couple of them. I will say, three abortions border on foolishness -- contraceptives are of paramount importance -- but you need to shut the door on the past now. You need to be determined to make a fresh start. And why not marriage? You'll have to meet the boy beforehand, of course. And you can tell him the truth about your past. A sensitive, caring, open-minded boy will not object and will accept you for who you are. You shouldn't feel guilty because it's not your fault -- relationships don't always work out. Stop looking to the past and make ready for a bright future, my dear -- there's one right ahead of you if you'll only take a look.

sahil asked, hii love guru i m totally shattered beacuse i m not able 2 propose a grl i love so much she is ma school frn

Love Guru answers, Why aren't you able to do so? You've got to be a little brave, is all! Unless there's something more to it that you're not telling me about?

abb asked, hi guru,am 34,still single,good job,now parents wants me to married whosever they find,bt i don,t like this,even they finalise somebody without asking me,but i turned off,is because of age i can marry anybody,i only want to marry the guy of my choice.my mother starts tease me everymement and forcing me to marry at any cost,the boy of there choice

Love Guru answers, Well, you're young, strong-minded and independent. So take a stand and say no to your folks. Although I must say, there is no harm in having your parents look for you. What you do need to do is set boundaries. Agree to meet the guys they like and see what you think of them. Reserve the right to say no and don't let them get everything finalised without you giving the go-ahead. If you're determined to not even look at the boys they want for you, you'll just have to stand up and say you're not going to cave to pressure from them. But spare a thought for the advice I gave you. There's no harm in looking.

loverboy007 asked, Hi Love Guru, I am having an affair with a 45 year old woman while I am a 26 year old. Though the physical relation is very good, now she wants me to marry her and adopt her 22 year old son. Though I love her, my parents might have a problem with a daughter-in-law their age. What should I do?

Love Guru answers, Listen, it's a little ridiculous to plan to adopt a son only four years younger than you, don't you think? And while this relationship may work for you now, what about the future? Don't you want children? Is she willing to have more kids with you, or is she even able to, at her age? You may think not now, but you won't have the privilege of changing your mind later on. And when you're 35, she'll be 60 -- a senior citizen! Will you love her as much then and continue to make her happy? Or will you make her life miserable? If you're prepared for the kind of sacrifices this relationship will mean for you, go ahead. Although I would have to sympathise with your parents here, it's not reasonble for them to accept you committing for the rest of your life to an elderly woman.

sweettu asked, My love left me for some one else. Even after trying my best to reconcile she has not accepted me or my wish to be together. She has given birth to my child but stil there seems no end to my wait.Is there any way that can bring us together ? Thanks for you kind help.

Love Guru answers, However painful this might sound, a no is a no. The more pressure you put on her, the more she will move away from you. So accept the situation as it is -- don't wait around for her to come back. You move on with your life. But see to it that you foster a loving relationship with your child. And if she puts up a fuss about that, resort to legal means.

yogesh asked, hi love guru, i am 26 years old and have a relationship for the past 5 years with a girl who is 22 years old. Even our parents also knows about our relationship. we both were are working and were happy all time. But this days she is behaving in different ways. Not attainding my calls. When i tells her something she doesn't understand take it in a wrong way. I am affraid whether she is having other boyfriend. If i want to talk to her regarding this her change in behaviur, she says it is nothing like that and try to avoid the discussion. Kindly advice what i must do to solve the problem. whether i should stop relation or not.

Love Guru answers, Look, Yogesh -- I have a feeling that if you end the relationship, she will probably be relieved. I think it's what she wants you to do. That's why this behaviour. So sit her down and explain to her that if she denies the change in her behaviour, she is only fooling herself. Tell her that if she wants to end things, she is free to do so instead of trying to push you away and if she has any decency in her she will tell you the truth. She owes you that much. And don't relent till she speaks up. If she's overly stubborn, let her go and move on with your life.

Sherry asked, How do you tell your wife that she is getting fat & needs to take care of her health

Love Guru answers, Gently and subtly, without hurting her feelings. Assure her that you have her best interests at heart and that you love her, but the fact that she has put on so much weight concerns you. And you want her to look after herself. If you don't want to bring it up at all, tell her you think it would be great if you both joined a gym together to get in shape. That way, she won't feel singled out by you.

SanjayPayal asked, Hi Love Guru. I need ur help. I am married 3 months back to a software girl whom I found very loyal and sincere. But later I come to know from her previous mobile bills that she liked/loved someone and they talked for hours and hours in day and nights. After marriage she didnt contact him during first month. But when she joined office now, she again started talking and chatting with him during office hours and just when she leaves office and before she reach home. This I come to know from telephone bills. She dont know that I m checking her telephone bills secretly. Till now I am showing my same love on her and I want her back. So what shall I do now. Shall I ask her to stop talking to him. and tell her that I know everything abt their relationship ? Pls help me

Love Guru answers, Sanjay, checking mobile bills does tell you for how long she's been speaking to a person, but not what she's talking about. How do you know she's having an affair with him? Friends talk on the phone for hours too. I can fully understand your concern, but all I'm saying is, before jumping to conclusions, give her a chance to tell you the truth. Tell her what you've noticed and to be honest with you. Don't order her to stop talking to him or anything of that sort -- just ask her why she feels the need to talk for so long to this guy and what relationship she shares with him. If, worst-case scenario, she is in love with him, why did she marry you?

Karthick asked, Hi guru, my problem is a serious issue . Please help me.. I found out that my 3 year lover has relation with some other boy in all ways.She is not in attitude to accept her mistakes.. she plames me for her mistake I cant leave her and I cant continue smoothly... Give me a solution.... Leave her or forgive her

Love Guru answers, She blames you for her affair? That's rich! To make a mistake is one thing, but to put the blame on someone else is quite another! I say leave her, for now at least. Show her that you won't be her doormat, taking everything she dishes out lying down. If she realises what she's done and mends her ways, you can consider forgiving her, otherwise move on.

rahul asked, Hi! Good afternoon Love guru. Well i am 32 yr male. our family( including me ) met 25 yr old girl, arrange marriage proposal. Girl herself, her parents and elder sister liked me ( ok from them ) but her elder brother and her wife didnt like me. Girl is very simple, decent n polite nature. Possibly her elder brother is very dominating in family. Her brother is insisting her to decide upon the guys selected by him. From our side, me n my parent liked her very much. She knows that she is liked in my family. Please guide. Thank you.

Love Guru answers, Rahul, you haven't said what decision her family has made regarding you. Liking and not liking is all fine, but what is their final answer -- yes or no? If you can, have your parents meet hers again and assure them that any reservations they have about the match can be discussed. Her possessive older brother is not the one getting married, she is. So he shouldn't be butting in and trying to run her life. If you want to play it smart, you may consider meeting the brother himself and talking to him about the issues he has with you. Be polite and friendly, you just may win the jerk over.

Bunty asked, Hi Love Guru, I am in a relationship, with my firiend's sister. It is very difficult for me as she called me "Brother". Also our friendship is 8 years old. And I and my friend have bliend faith on each other, i feared about the friendship brocked. The girl also involved to me physically, even we are not getting physical yet. Please advice me.

Love Guru answers, Look, your question is very confusing. On one side you say you have a relationship, on the other you say she calls you brother. On one side you say you're involved with her physically, on the other you say you're not physical with her yet. What's going on! Just talk to your friend about your feelings for his sister. Tell him you didn't want to hide the truth or go behind his back so you wanted to tell him first. If he loves you as much as you say, I think he will be glad.

papu asked, papu- i hv 3 girlfriends x-y-z and i used to have physical relation with all 3. lately i found i like z the most. problem is x and y hv got pregnant and are threatening to tell z. how to handle this without loosing out z. should i tell her everything about x & y

Love Guru answers, You better tell her everything before they do. But what about the fact that they're both pregnant? If what you're saying is true, you're really foolish. Are they planning on having both kids? If so, you will be required by law to pay child support for both. And you'll also have to assume the responsibilities of a father.

sarita asked, Hi,i loved a boy up to 1 yrs.i told to my parents abt this but they didnt agree for this.No one undersatnd my feelings in my family.They forced me to merry a other guy,at tht time i wasnt agree for tht.now its alredy 5yrs over.they serched a good guy for me,but as now my age is 29 thts why they choose a guy who is not well establshed.they r saying tht now thr is no time to serch a guy again.wht i will do.i accept my parents desision or Wht ?plz suggest me.

Love Guru answers, 'No time'? What rubbish! Just because you're 29, they want to marry you off to the first fool that comes along? Have they no thoughts for your future? Nothing doing! Tell them you are willing to marry, but only if the boy matches up to your expectations in all respects!

se asked, d: Hi love guru I just want to ask one thing. My BF i dont know want happen to him from last 5 days i am trying to talk to him but he says that he is busy in his work and try to neglect. He calls me when he gets time but his way of talking had been changed little sometime he gets himself annoyed for small things and suddenly he changes and shows positive way. I dont know what happen to him. jsut suggest me what to do

Love Guru answers, Tell him you've noticed the change in his behaviour and not to deny it, because he'll only make himself look silly. Ask him to tell you the truth about what is going on with him, else you will cut off contact till he does so.

Sunny asked, hi... Love guru i have gf, and we want to marry but my parents are not ready....bcoz she is from different caste. her parents are ready...but if only whn my parents will get ready....plz help me out....we dont wnt to run n do marriage...so plz help me out.....

Love Guru answers, Sunny, there's no need to run if you're both adults and know that the decision you're making is the right one. Explain to your parents that their narrow-mindedness should not come in the way of your future. If they are not agreeable in awhile, i say go ahead with it. But be prepared to tackle cultural differences that arise in your marriage with good sense and compromise.

godknows asked, Hi i love a girl with whom i was in live in before my marriage and i took a rash decision of marrying by ex. and now my relation is really on rocks and we both are planning to dissolve our marriage. How can i be with the person i really love and care for ? considering the family pressure which will arise after me being devorced ?

Love Guru answers, You should not have been so stupid as to rashly marry someone else when you loved another. And what about the feelings of your live-in girlfriend? You must have broken her heart with your thoughtless, selfish behaviour. Now be a man and do what's right, family pressure or not.

devendra asked, Hi lg.. i am married but trying to one bachelor girl is behind me for physical. I am confused

Love Guru answers, Any confusion you have should be suitably cleared by your marriage certificate! Or look up the word 'commitment' -- and stay committed to your wife!

Also see: 'I have a weird fetish of stealing lingerie'